Why You'll NEVER Find Happiness Until You STOP Living For Others

I've noticed that more people are responding with, “I’m busy,” rather than, “I’m good,” when asked how they're doing. This observation got me thinking that being preoccupied and over-scheduled is the new, welcomed normal.

If you're, in fact, like the masses, you're probably asking yourself, Is this as good as it gets? But why do you keep using the Busy response like a badge of honor?

I'll tell you why and some simple solutions to get out of this life-sucking epidemic.

Let me share an experience with you, in order to illustrate what I’m talking about. I was recently on a business trip with my husband, and I was talking with a fellow seminar attendee about a book I read. She responded in a condescending tone, “Read? I can’t remember when I had time to read an actual book. I guess I’m just too busy.” That’s sad.

It’s tragic that we've allowed societal expectations to skew our perception of leisure, to the point that we view any activity that's not considered work as a waste of time.

How Did This Happen?

It happened in a very methodical and malicious manner where media and advertisements fed us messages that we weren't enough. The media has created this illusion of how we need to behave, look and feel, along with the things that we need to achieve, accomplish and acquire in order to obtain true happiness.

After a while, we stopped questioning the illusion’s attainability and accepted it as truth. This is when we stopped being honest. We crafted facades and only allowed others to see what we wanted them to see — perfection. Now we live in a world full of posers and pretenders, where authenticity is as rare as seeing a tween riding a bicycle, and real talk is as foreign as free time.

Why Would Society Set Such Impractical Standards?

It's for greed. Just think about it: If we always believe that we're not enough, we'll constantly chase after anything that promises contentment.

And it's for power. Society demands order and control. Since power and greed are two very seductive desires, the standards have become more and more unattainable. Look around and you'll see we're all one in the same, all searching for that illusive dream that has been promised to us, if we just do it all right. The dream is like the rabbit that leads the dogs around the racetrack — it will always remain just out of our reach.

What Does This Cost Us?

If we continue on this path of self-destruction, we will find ourselves unhappy, overwhelmed, without a purpose and kind of robotic. The days will feel like a blur and the years will fly by, until something happens to jolt us back to life. Either someone we love will tragically die, or we will personally get some morbid news from the doctor. Only then will we slow down enough to look at the life we've created and ask, "Is this it?"

How Can We Stop This Madness?

You can make the choice to slow down and take inventory of what your life truly is. I’m sure you’ll find it surprising how many hours you spend volunteering for things that mean absolutely nothing to you, how much time you waste being a shuttle service for your children’s extra curricular activities, and how none of your values line up with the way you're choosing to live your life.

Take action by simplifying your schedule, commitments and life. Adopt the great skill of discernment when it comes to giving away your time. Get to know the real you by becoming curious about your likes and dislikes, what fills your cup versus what does not, and what excites rather than numbs you.

From the extra time you gain, you can savor the moments that you have and begin to craft a life that's actually worth living.

For more individualized guidance, on how to get your life back and slow down time visit, southmetrocounseling.com and complete the free assessment. To learn more about the three keys to a successful relationship with yourself and others, check out Back 2 Love, a book written for those that are tired of living on autopilot and crave more from their relationship.