How To Find Your 'Cuffing Partner' For The Holidays In 4 Easy Steps
When it's cold out, do you want to 'Netflix and chill' alone?
getty 'Tis the season for cuffing. The weather is getting cold, the leaves are falling, you break out your winter sweaters and get ready for the season ahead.
Cuffing season falls during the Fall and Winter months, and it's defined as single people who are looking to be "cuffed" or involved in a serious relationship. Having to go through the holiday season solo can suck — no one wants to sit by the fire, drink hot cocoa and watch a Netflix marathon alone. It gets even more awkward when you're out of school, going to holiday parties, work and family gatherings without a plus one.
According to Lori Salkin, a matchmaker and dating coach at Saw You At Sinai, the "pressure is so tremendous for singles" when you reach your late 20s and it seems that everyone around you is getting engaged and married. To a single person, everything during the holiday season is better with a partner.
But beward of what Barbie Adler, Founder and President of Selective Search, calls a "hibernation buddy." Make sure the person you cuff yourself to during these fall/winter months “is looking to go the distance.”
Don’t settle for someone who is just trying to take advantage of the cold weather for some Netflix and chill. So, while you may be trying to learn how to find love, how can you make sure you'll find someone worthy of cuffing?
1. Make a list.
Take some time to make a list of the traits you want in your ideal mate, suggests therapist Dr. Nancy Irwin. Make sure that when you are writing this list, include values you’d like to share. After all, it is the holiday season.
Know what you consider negotiable values, and be sure to write down your non-negotiables.
2. Look for someone fun.
Look for what April Masini, relationship expert and author behind AskApril.com, calls the “upbeat optimist.” Make sure you find yourself someone that is upbeat and can make even those dark, boring, and long days of winter a lot more fun. Stay away from someone who might bring you down in the dumps.
3. Find someone outgoing.
Make sure that he/she is comfortable meeting new people and is party-ready. When the holidays come around, you want to bring, and possibly even show off, your cuffing partner as your plus one.
4. Find a planner.
A good cuffing partner is one that will makes plans in advance instead of just asking you out for the upcoming weekend, says Dr. Jane Greer, a relationship expert. A planner shows signs of commitment which is a great indicator for a long-term relationship. Furthermore, who wants to wait until the last minute to find a holiday party to go to?
5. Don't "cuff" someone just for the sake of it.
Lastly, make sure you don't just cuff with someone because that is what everyone is doing during the holidays. To ensure you don't become too co-dependent after the holiday season, determine with they will pass the test at work or family functions.
"Cuffing Season is fast and furious for people with real relationship goals, so pace yourself,” says David Cruz, a matchmaker from Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker.
Jarone Ashekenazi is a freelance contributing writer covering dating/relationships and other lifestyle topics. His work has been featured on numerous sites, including Fast Company, Just Luxe, Elite Daily, CBS LA, and Ask Men.