How Smart Women Let Masculine Traits Sabotage Love

If you’re a smart and successful woman, being professional, in charge, driven and strong are masculine traits that bring you much career success. You’ve been able to reach key goals and objectives and may even have been promoted to positions of greater responsibility. But, if the love you desire has eluded you, the recognition you receive for your hard work can’t make up for what’s most important in life – true love.

Letting your masculine energy be dominant makes it easier for your feminine energy to become dormant. Losing touch with your feminine energy keeps you from love because men find femininity attractive. If you want to be loved, cherished, and respected, applying masculine traits to love is a losing proposition. There was a time when I unknowingly applied masculine traits to love. I was used to operating from my masculine energy Mondays through Fridays from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Even after work, this masculine side followed me on dates that didn’t blossom into any lasting relationships. 

Old habits die hard and I was a hard head. It took me some time to realize that if I wanted true love, I needed to change the way I was acting in my love life. I knew it wasn’t about getting rid of my masculine traits since they brought much success in my professional life. It was about knowing how to get in touch with my femininity and when to turn it on.  If you find yourself in the situation that I was in, doing all you can to get in touch with your feminine energy will bring you a fulfilling love life. Here are four lessons I learned in hopes that they will help you bring your feminine traits to love:

1. Making decisions.

Making decisions at work means controlling aspects of people, projects, and tasks to get to the desired outcome. In love, making decisions for your man and trying to control him and your relationship does not give your desired outcome. Accept your man for who is without trying to change him. This will bring the two of you closer and give you a meaningful relationship. 

2. Developing strategies.

Strategizing, and putting together checklists and to-dos at work means coming from a cerebral approach. In love, strategies, checklists, and to-dos don’t help you connect and relate to your man. Relate to your man by connecting to your heart and you’ll have a deeper and more meaningful connection.

3. Being professional.

We tend to approach work in a serious matter. Sometimes it’s hard to leave work behind to relax and enjoy the one we’re with. If this describes you, you may even find yourself slipping into a job interview mode on a date. In love, men are less attracted to seriousness and more attracted to fun and lightheartedness. Having fun and lightening up are qualities men find attractive.

4. Being strong.

At work, we show we can handle anything that comes our way. In love, when you appear to handle whatever comes your way, a man may perceive you as not needing him. Men like to feel needed by a strong woman (vs. needed by a needy woman). The reality is receiving what a man wants to give you (i.e. his help, his time, etc.) makes him feel good about himself, you, and your relationship.

Having the right man in your life adds more depth, richness, and fulfillment. Give your love life a chance by showing your feminine side. Be receptive, vulnerable, and let your guard down. What will you do to get in touch with your femininity?