5 Tiny Habits That Will Make Your Relationship Healthier Than 98% Of Couples
Cultivate your connection like a garden and harvest life-long love.
Getty Images | Unsplash The partnerships that shine brightly and the personal connections that lift your spirits to refresh your soul these relationships are rare and radiant.
Just being in the presence of these people makes you physically feel better and naturally energetic. Radiant relationships are healthy and worth nurturing. They stand the test of time.
Radiant relationships don’t happen overnight — couples must cultivate their connection like a garden to find joy and success.
My husband loves to plant a vegetable garden every year, dedicating hard work, time, and care. The same must be done to grow vibrant, radiant relationships.
Here are 5 tiny habits that will make your relationship healthier than most people:
1. Establish roots of trust.
As a garden requires a bed to support its growth and hold its roots in place, trust is the foundation for building a relationship.
Establishing trust takes time in any relationship. Once trust is firm, it becomes a rock of stability and safety for both people to relax and be themselves.
Be trustworthy: Trust is one of the most challenging things to rebuild once it's been broken or betrayed.
Keep confidences. Strive to be a safe place for the other person to let down their guard and be vulnerable. Keep your word and follow through with your commitments. Be honest and authentic.
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” — Stephen Covey
2. Let your full presence flower.
Be present, show up, and engage. Put away all distractions and give that person your attention and presence when you are with them.
Schedule time to engage in enjoyable activities together, then be there — fully. Put away your phone and completely immerse yourself in the moment.
Just like my husband has to dig into the soil to prepare a healthy foundation for his garden, growing radiant relationships requires digging in with our attention and devoted presence.
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
3. Pollinate with intuitive listening.
Listening is one of the most potent ingredients in a healthy relationship — and the most neglected and misunderstood.
It sounds so simple, right? We all believe we know how to listen, but most of us only listen superficially.
Deep, intuitive listening can repair and revolutionize even the most broken relationships. Everyone longs to be heard, understood, seen, and known. Humans are hardwired for love and connection — it is a universal need.
Intuitive listening takes practice. It means keeping yourself out of the story and focusing only on that person.
Listen between the lines. Please pay attention to their body language, energy, emotion, and tone of voice. Ask questions. Reflect on their words to validate and acknowledge that they are being heard and understood.
When we experience another person genuinely listening to our hearts, we feel valued and know that we matter. When you intentionally and deeply listen to another person, you plant seeds of love that will reap a bountiful harvest.
“Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply." — Stephen Covey
Photo: Rabizo Anatolii via Shutterstock
4. Feed them with forgiveness.
The impact of forgiveness is powerful in creating healthy relationships. Grudges are like weeds in your relationship's garden, quickly overtaking its beds and choking the life out of growing plants. Holding onto past offenses and refusing to forgive allows bitterness to grow in your heart, creating a barrier between you and the other person.
Forgiving means you have chosen to let go of hard feelings, flushing away and releasing any poison in your heart. This doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt or that whatever happened was right. Forgiveness is a cleansing, a pulling of weeds, so your heart remains free to love.
“Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” — Anonymous
Resolve conflicts when they arise. Don’t let negativity take root and grow like weeds in your relationship.
Nobody is perfect, so accept the other person will make mistakes, just like you do. Canter the problem as the focus when talking instead of attacking the other person. Use your intuitive listening skills to hear their heart. Be willing to hear another perspective or opinion.
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” — Emily Kimbrough
5. Accept your partner's nature.
A radiant relationship is one in which both people are free to be themselves without fear of judgment, criticism, or feeling like they need to change to be accepted.
Every garden needs lots of watering to thrive and flourish, and so do healthy relationships. When you appreciate and love the people in your life as they are, you nourish their souls and empower them to become who they are, the unique and valued individuals with a gift to share with the world.
“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” — Leo F. Buscaglia
All the plants in a garden look different. A broccoli plant looks different than a tomato plant, from its leaves to its stems and fruit. They even grow differently. Tomato plants grow tall, and broccoli plants spread out and grow low to the ground.
People are the same. We each need the freedom to grow how we were meant to grow and bear our unique fruit. Acceptance waters the garden of your relationships, allowing these partnerships to grow.
Loving, healthy relationships are more important than anything else in this life. Nurture them using these five essential tools, and you will reap a bountiful harvest worth your investment. Remember: When you reach the end of your life, your relationships will matter the most.
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust
Janelle Anderson is a Professional Certified Coach. She’s created several programs and courses, including Becoming a Daughter Bible Study, The Life Purpose Course for Women 40+, Pathways to a Fulfilling Life in Retirement, and Women Living Well Beyond 50.