How To Give A Tantric Massage (And Make Your Partner Fall More Deeply In Love)
You can thank us later.
Getty What is a tantric massage and how can exchanging them with your partner benefit your sex and love life, while improving your overall happiness?
Couples who give each other these therapeutic body massages — including a yoni massage for her and a lingam massage for him — can improve their relationships by creating positive energy, healing past traumas and falling even more in love with each other.
While the idea of a tantric massage therapy may conjure up images of seedy backstreet beauty parlors where lonely men go to find a "happy ending", tantra is actually an ancient Indian tradition, a kind of an old religion from the times when more people worshipped Goddesses.
Modern technology has huge advantages, but back in those days, people understood things about themselves we have lost the knowledge of. Without television and smartphones to distract them, people developed a deeper understanding of how their bodies worked from their own experiences.
Tantra has become famous in the West because, unlike our traditional religions, it accepts sex and the body as both natural and divine.
This is so refreshing in a culture where sex has been demonized for centuries and even now in the age of so called sexual liberation, it's still shamed and put in a box in a corner as an unnecessary pleasure that is dangerous and the cause of a host of problems.
Tantra sees sex as the essence of life, and it is.
Our sexual energy contains the seeds of life. It is a powerful force that is often suppressed, leaving it to grow toxic unless we can learn to harness and use that power.
This is the essence of what tantric massage is about.
It is about using bodywork to awaken this energy and move it through your body, and is actually the same thing done through the practice of kundalini yoga, but through a short cut that can accomplish a year's worth of yoga sessions in one session.
The sexual energy, also known as kundalini energy, can become stuck, sending us into a continuous cycle of seeking release from this frustration without understanding that we can actually harness it for the pleasure and benefit of both ourselves and out partners.
In a tantric massage, the practitioner starts by working around the sacrum and spine, moving up to the head in order to clear a passageway for energy to flow.
You might wonder why this energy becomes stuck in the first place if it is meant to be moving. Good question.
Partly, this happens because so many of us now spend our lives sitting while we work or rest, and this sedentary lifestyle blocks the flow of energy.
It may also be the result of trauma. When we go through a physically or psychologically traumatic experience, it can become stuck in our bodies, so if you have ever felt pain in your body after something emotionally upsetting happened, that's what it is. People heal from their injuries more quickly than others when they manage to release the trauma standing in the path of their healing.
So when you have a tantric massage, the practitioner will go over your whole body and massage into areas of pain to get those traumas out so the energy can flow.
It may sound bizarre, but a tantric massage means massaging the WHOLE body so nothing is missed, not even the spots between your toes or under your arms.
Some tantric massages do include massaging the sexual organs, which our Western brains immediately question as indicative of seedy sex work.
This is not the same as having a typical sexual encounter, however. A professional tantric massage should be therapeutic, and it is not the same as masturbation.
In truth, the experience is like nothing you have ever imagined.
One thing that makes a tantric massage unique is that while it works well with your physical body, it also works in concert with your energy.
And when the dynamic nature of sexual energy between loving partners comes into play, it's a mind-blowing high you didn't realize could happen naturally.
As a result of experiencing a tantric massage, you should expect to see at least these changes:
- Increased energy, which leads to you feeling happier overall
- Greater attunement to your lover
- Improved orgasms, including multiple and full body orgasms
You can use some of the techniques of tantric massage with your lover.
For example, begin the massage at their coccyx (tailbone) and then move up their back to their head. As you do, watch how you send tingling energy shooting up their spine.
Massaging their whole body is a great way to relax with and open up to each other more fully.
Most of all, remember that tantra is all about going slowly and connecting with each other's energy.
If you decide to seek out tantric massage therapy from a professional, be aware of massage parlors advertising tantric massage as a disguise for illegal erotic massage practices.
Men sometimes offer tantric massage to women as a ploy to get them into bed, and you could end up facing a nasty surprise, so be sure to find someone reputable.
In order to find out if a practitioner is offering the real deal, ask where your practitioner trained and look at the website for the school. Additionally, ask them questions about the massage technique they use.
And if they say that yes, they do offer clients a "happy ending," that is not a tantric massage. Keep looking.
Jade Lotus is a therapist and meditation coach, teaching Taoist Inner Alchemy Meditation, including Sexual Alchemy. Her therapy sessions center on allowing clients to move on from their traumas and discover themselves for who they really are. To find out more, visit her website.