Digital Infidelity: Innocent Fun Or Online Affair?

Remember the days when cheating had a very simple definition? "Thou shall not commit adultery or covet thy neighbors..." was pretty straightforward. If you kissed, touched, connected emotionally or had sex with anyone other than your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, it was considered cheating and it was wrong.

Enter the age of the internet, smart phones and social networking. The definition of cheating has become a little more complicated. We are now faced with a whole new issue that seems to be plaguing more and more couples each day. If you are in a monogamous relationship, but your partner is flirting or engaging in sexual activity on the internet, is it still considered cheating? Matchmaker Reveals 3 Crazy-But-Powerful Flirting Strategies

I recently coached a client who had ended his relationship of three years because his boyfriend refused to stop flirting with people he met online. His boyfriend maintained a few online profiles on popular dating sites and, though his profiles read that he was only looking for friends, he often participated in chat sessions that were very suggestive in nature.

When confronted about his online activity, he made it a point to declare that it is not a big deal because online sex doesn't count. My client was frustrated, but tolerated it for a while. Eventually, he grew tired of the arguments and decided to end the relationship. A year later, he still questions whether or not he was overreacting and if he made the right decision. 8 Do's & Don'ts Of Sexting (If You Want Him To Reallllly Be Into You)

Technology has brought us into a world of instant gratification. People are driven by need. Healthy or not, when you couple those needs with convenience and on-demand options, those needs will be met at the drop of a dime. Unfortunately, the need for attention, love and sex are not immune to this trending relationship trap. I fully support my client for ending that relationship and here's why. Internet Sex And Porn – Is It Cheating? [EXPERT]

More cheating advice from YourTango:

• Experts Agree: Cheating Is Not About Sex [VIDEO]
• Why Cheating Can Actually *Help* Your Marriage
• Wait, Could Sites Like Ashley Madison Actually Benefit Women?

Cheating is cheating whether it is done physically or through the means of technology. We all have an understanding of infidelity as a concept and though the definition may have become a bit more evolved, the damage it can do to a relationship remains the same. The Effects Of Infidelity On A Relationship [EXPERT]

Love and trust should be sacred in a relationship. The fact that my client's ex was unwilling to understand why his partner would be upset with his online flirting indicated that he had no intentions of stopping anytime soon.

There is no way to guarantee your partner remains faithful to your relationship, online or in person. You can't control his actions, but you can focus your efforts on strengthening your relationship to ensure that you are both on the same page when it comes to the expectation of fidelity. Here are 3 ways to do just that:

1. Know your truth. What behavior or activity do you associate with cheating? Online flirting, kissing and intimate touches. Everyone has their own opinion and their own level of tolerance regarding what activities are acceptable versus what they consider to be dealbreakers. You should definitely take the time to define this for yourself, so you won't be confused should you find yourself dealing with a case of cheating.

If all else fails, trust your gut. Pay attention to your emotional responses to the subject. If it doesn't feel right to you, then it is a clear indicator that your partner's actions are something you consider cheating.

2. Communicate. Make sure that you discuss your expectations upfront and in detail to make sure your partner understands where you are coming from. This needs to be a two way discussion and both parties need to be in agreement as to what is acceptable outside of the relationship.

You have to work together in order to set boundaries. If the two of you can't reach an agreement, chances are that the relationship will not survive. It's better to be clear from the beginning than to deal with the potential stress it can cause in the future. If you have a concern, don't hold it in and allow it to fester. Speak your mind and deal with it head on.

3. Actions and accountability. If boundaries have been crossed, then it needs to be addressed immediately. Sometimes, people like to test the limits to see how far they can go before you say something. Once you start tolerating inappropriate behavior, without holding the person accountable, it will be virtually impossible to curb that behavior in the future.

I am not saying that there is no room for error because things happen. But, just because mistakes are made shouldn't suggest that there are not going to be consequences. Matchmaker Reveals 5 Crazy-But-Powerful Ways To Magnetically Attract Men

If you need external help, I would suggest employing a mediator or a licensed psychotherapist to help you deal with the problem. But, stick to your guns. Don't attempt to rationalize or compromise when it comes to your feelings. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that you should sacrifice your happiness. You have to do what makes you happy and if it means the end of that relationship, then so be it. 7 Stages To Getting Over Infidelity [EXPERT]

Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Need advice? Contact him directly via YourTango.com/experts or visit instigaytor for more info.