4 Steps To Overcoming Resistance To Change In Your Life
Is resistance to change something you struggle with? Here's how to embrace it!
getty I am no stranger to change, and resistance to change is something I've had to work really hard on recently.
In the past 14 months, I’ve moved 10 times. It sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Some moves were for my mother, who recently passed away, some were for my kids, and some were for me. They were all tiring.
And they all signaled a change — and were difficult to accept.
One, in particular, was harder than the others, and I found myself resisting it.
Toward the end of her life, my mom lived with my husband and me. After her death, I didn’t want to be in my house anymore. I wanted to leave the raw memories of losing her behind.
So, we put the house I’d lived in for 25 years on the market and rented an apartment in the city — right before the pandemic. Suddenly, we were cramped in a small apartment with no place to spread out or stretch our legs while my old house sat empty!
I didn’t want to go back, and the fact is, I was pushing things to happen that weren’t in my control while resisting what I really needed. And it’s not the first time I’ve done so.
How about you? What are you resisting?
It could be a career change, a difficult conversation, the end of a relationship, or even a calling you can no longer ignore. The more you resist, the more that part of your life persists, signaling that something isn’t right.
That feeling won’t stop until you change it. So, being able to embrace those difficult issues instead of fighting your resistance to change is important.
Here are 4 steps to overcoming resistance to change in your life.
1. Stop forcing things that don't fit.
When you try to push a square peg into a round hole, what happens? You naturally find resistance.
Trying to force anything in the direction it doesn’t want to go is a waste of time and energy. The same can be said for the circumstances in your life.
2. Embrace your struggles.
Instead of pushing, pull change toward you. This won’t be easy, but it’s actually the more natural way to move forward.
When you embrace your struggles, you’ll be free to get to the root of why they’re struggles in the first place.
3. Look closer at why you feel stuck.
Ask yourself why. Why is this situation hard for me? Why aren’t things working out the way I hoped they would?
Perhaps there’s something you haven’t resolved in your life that has you stuck in place. Take time to discover what’s at the heart of your resistance.
4. Follow the signs your life is giving you.
Lastly, accept your resistance and lean into the direction your life is headed.
Look for and follow the signs that direct your path. They’re there, and when you stop pushing, you’ll see them.
Take your time with what should and shouldn't come into your life. For me, it’s a house. For you, it might be a new relationship or a new career.
Regardless of the resistance to change you're feeling, when you can approach it on your own terms, it takes you from transitions to transformations.
Hilary DeCesare is the Founder and CEO of The ReLaunch Co. She’s appeared on ABC’s The Secret Millionaire and on major news outlets such as CBS, ABC, Fox, Huffington Post, and Yahoo, and offers several ReLaunch courses and coaching. To connect with her directly or for media requests please email her today.