How To Get Over A Breakup Fast
Time heals all, but sometimes we all need help moving the process along.
Getty Whether your now-ex broke up with you or you're the one who ended the relationship, breaking up is never fun.
The ending of any romantic relationship typically comes as a painful loss, and it will understandably take time for you to fully recover and get over it.
That being said, there are things you can do to get over a breakup more quickly.
The most critical steps to take involve allowing yourself to grieve by embracing the full range of your emotions.
Here's how to get over a breakup fast, or at least more quickly, so you can heal your broken heart and move on.
1. Allow yourself to feel sad.
The first thing you need to do is let yourself feel sad. Don't try to skip over the painful part of the breakup by putting on a brave face that won't work, because that's how you get stuck in the grieving process for months, even years.
You won't get over the breakup until you face those emotions, so do what feels natural in the moment. Close the blinds, call a friend, watch sad movies, cry your eyes out, eat comfort food — and commit to feeling sad instead of trying to repress your emotions.
2. Then, set an end date for your sadness.
Next, you need to set a clear end date for the sadness. When that date comes, you need to open up the blinds, retire the sad movies, and get back to your normal routine.
Of course, you may still feel sad from time to time. That's totally normal. But you won't be walking around in your sweats eating ice cream out of the carton anymore. It's important to set a goal and then make yourself get up off the couch and back into the real world.
3. Lean into your anger.
Once the sadness starts to die down, your emotions will often naturally progress to anger. That's when it's time to lean into it and get moving! Look for opportunities to release your anger in a physical way.
This is also a great time to start journaling about all the ways the relationship wasn't working and how your ex wasn't showing up for you. Doing this will help you come to accept that your breakup was ultimately a good thing.
4. Rebuild your self-esteem.
After a breakup, there's bound to be a period of time when you don’t feel like your best self. Your self-esteem takes a huge hit when a relationship ends, so at this point it’s really important to surround yourself with people who think you’re utterly amazing.
Whether those people are your girlfriends, coworkers, sister, or parents, spend time with people who knew you before your breakup and who have always supported you, no matter what.
5. Take control of any lingering obsessive thoughts.
After a breakup, your brain has a tendency to become your worst enemy.
You may catch yourself obsessively thinking things like:
- I'll never be able to find someone better than him.
- I'm going to end up alone.
- No one is going to put up with my crap like he did.
- No one is ever going to love me again.
- He's probably already met someone better.
When obsessive thoughts start taking over your usually rational mind, it's your job to control them.
When you feel yourself going down the negativity rabbit hole, ask yourself, “What’s another way of looking at this? How likely is it really that I’m never going to meet anyone as good as him?”
Remember that this breakup happened for a reason, and try your best to stay gentle with yourself.
Heather Lyon is a certified life and relationship coach. For more information, visit her website.