5 Ways Men Can Help Women Achieve A Super Orgasm (And Close The Orgasm Gap For Good)
You can have amazing multiple orgasms during sex!
getty What are super orgasms? These are the feelings of intense, full-body sexual pleasure that are accompanied by either female ejaculation or multiple climaxes in women.
Some women report having several orgasms, while others find it difficult to experience a single one, especially when a man is involved.
That being said, it's definitely possible for a woman to have a super orgasm during sex with a male partner.
RELATED: 5 Signs A Woman Has Climaxed
The Orgasm Gap
Women in straight relationships report the lowest orgasm rates of any demographic — 95 percent of men usually always climax during sex, compared to 65 percent of women, a U.S. study found.
This pleasure disparity is known as the orgasm gap, referring to men having more orgasms than women during heterosexual relations.
British women also report having fewer orgasms than men. For many Western women, having an orgasm during sex is a rarity, even after years of being sexually active with various male partners.
Achieving female orgasm is a big business.
In recent years, great strides have been made to help women climax more frequently with sex toys and masturbation.
The female orgasm has become big business as sex toy companies have cashed in on women’s new orgasm liberation movement. The global sex toy industry is currently valued at $27.4 billion.
Whilst more women are climaxing by self-pleasure, many women still find it difficult to orgasm with a male partner.
"How can I orgasm during sex?" is one the most frequently asked questions Cosmopolitan magazine receives from female readers.
Only 20 percent of women regularly orgasm by penetration alone, another study found. Sex educators advise couples to explore non-penetrative play to increase a woman's chances to reach orgasm.
Men can definitely help close the orgasm gap.
In my experience as a sex educator, men want to help women climax and they are keen to become better lovers for their female partners.
One of the challenges men face is a lack of "safe spaces" to speak and learn about sex and female pleasure in an authentic manner.
When it comes to learning about sex, men tend to prefer informal settings which may include visual imagery and light-hearted jokes. They also tend to be goal-orientated and seek practical instructions.
Porn has shaped the way that many men understand sex, which tends to neglect the importance of clitoral stimulation and female arousal. The porn epidemic has contributed to the orgasm disparity and misunderstandings about female pleasure among modern men.
Just like the Brazilian councilman who enacted the female orgasm "holiday" to mark the "sexual debt" he felt he owed his wife, men can also make an effort to help women have super orgasms and effectively close the orgasm gap for good!
In fact, National Orgasm Day on July 31st and International Female Orgasm Day on August 8th are great opportunities to learn about women's orgasms.
In fact, a Brazilian councilman created International Female Orgasm Day to highlight the importance of female sexual satisfaction in marital relationships.
He wanted to dedicate a day to raise awareness about female sexuality and help men learn about the female anatomy in order to satisfy their wives.
Whilst every day should be female orgasm day, it's great that there is a special day to celebrate women reaching the big O!
Here are 5 ways men can help their partners achieve a super orgasm.
1. Learn and understand her body.
The vulva is marvelous with different sensual places to turn a woman on. Each vulva and vagina is different, so make sure you get to know her private parts with love!
Get to know her body and appreciate its unique beauty.
2. Arouse her mind.
An important part of experiencing super orgasms involves turning off the brain, becoming less engaged, and letting go.
Multi-orgasmic women have slower alpha waves than the average woman.
According to brain scans, super orgasmic women allow themselves to be mentally aroused and in the mood for sexual pleasure. Having a strong bond with a partner with strong communication skills also helps.
3. Try Kunyaza for clitoral stimulation.
The clitoris is the hub of female pleasure and it is packed with thousands of nerve endings. Most women require clitoral stimulation to achieve a super orgasm.
One idea is to use your penis head to stimulate the clitoris with the non-penetrative kunyaza technique to see if this movement helps elicit these sought-after super orgasms.
4. Focus on pleasure, not pressure.
Rather than thinking about how and when she will orgasm, concentrate on pleasure. Be patient and do not put pressure on her to orgasm.
Women who can have super orgasms have quieter brains, thus making more room for pleasure. For the most part, orgasms take place in the mind.
Worrying and overthinking prevents women from having super orgasms.
5. Engage in oral sex.
A national study on orgasm frequency between couples found that women are more likely to orgasm if a sexual encounter includes oral stimulation in addition to vaginal intercourse.
During lovemaking, remember to explore her entire genital area, as well as her thighs and other parts surrounding them.
Habeeb Akande is a sex educator, YourTango Expert, and author of Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure. Habeeb runs intimacy workshops on sexual well-being and was featured in a BBC documentary exploring female sexual pleasure. For more information on how to have (or give) female orgasms, follow him on Twitter @Habeeb_Akande.