3 Ways To Deal With Your BIG Emotions When Someone Pisses You Off

What’s the last thing that really ticked you off? I’m talking about the kind of upset that triggered you and had you ruminating on the situation for days.

Distressing situations offer clues about who you are and what you value.

Your values are your personal set of operating life principles that hold keys to your happiness, satisfaction, and life purpose. They influence your reactions, feelings, and your behavior. They also are the pair of glasses that you put on every day to view the world.

Living in alignment with your core values, helps you to feel energized, confident, and optimistic.

If you're feeling pissed off and don't know how to deal with anger, here is a 3-step way to define your values and see if your anger is warranted:

1. On a sheet of paper make 2 columns. Title them "pet peeves" and "values".
2. In column 1, write down your top 3 pet peeves. What makes you feel angry or annoyed? What circumstances do you find yourself in that automatically make you prickle? Here is my personal example: procrastination, people who do not keep their word, and people who are late.
3. In column 2, write down the opposite of these pet peeves. My example: action, integrity accountability, responsibility, and timeliness because being late means that you think your time is more important than that of the person who you kept waiting.

The next time you feel pissed off, refer to your list to see which of your values has been violated. When you do a quick check in, you will be able to re-center by acknowledging your feelings.

When you realize that what you value may be different than the offender's, you will be able to let them and yourself off the hook without giving away any more of your precious time to people who aren't on your same wavelength.  

Knowing what you value will help you to determine how you spend your time and resources while keeping yourself out of long-term situations that create internal havoc.

Gretchen Hydo is a certified professional coach, keynote speaker, nationally syndicated advice columnist, and thought leader. If you are interested in defining your values so that you can live in alignment with your core beliefs, schedule a complimentary 30-minute value session. Check out Any Lengths Life Coaching information on life-changing programs that will help you explore and restore.