6 Reasons To Consider A Socially-Distanced Marriage Retreat Weekend
A retreat may be what your marriage needs.
getty What are the chances you would attend a marriage retreat to make your relationship better?
You probably wouldn’t think twice about getting extra training to make you better at your job, right? There are some things you just have to do when you have priorities.
If you’ve never attended a couples' marriage retreat, you may be quick to pass by the idea.
"Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it’s great for other people... But it’s just not me."
Well, hang on. Don’t be so quick to judge.
If you could have a shot of truth serum and talk about your marriage, what would you say?
Is it everything it can be? Are you as happy as you want to be? Do you devote time to working on your marriage, with no kids, jobs, T.V., or technology interrupting?
How’s your sex life? (You do remember that, don’t you?) Do you and your spouse both get what you want and need from sex?
What about your communication? Do you and your spouse talk about deep subjects? Do you feel emotionally safe discussing your needs and dissatisfactions?
Do you both know how to communicate effectively, or do you always hit the same roadblocks?
If you could paint a picture of your marriage in its ideal state, what would it look like? Do you think you could paint it on your own, or are you losing hope that the picture is even possible?
What have you done so far to work on the issues that keep your marriage from being all it can be? Have you or your spouse ever thought or talked about ending your marriage?
What if you knew that attending a private couples' marriage retreat could change your answers to all those questions? That a few days completely devoted to your marriage could change your life... for the better?
Here are 6 reasons to consider a socially-distant marriage retreat this weekend.
1. Your marriage is in crisis.
You expect that marriage goes through an ebb and flow of intimacy and happiness. But sometimes, it’s left to erode, one little neglect at a time.
Or perhaps there was infidelity and you've never been able to restore genuine trust.
When your marriage reaches the point of pulling backwards against every effort to hang on, it’s in crisis. And those in crisis rarely have the skills to pull themselves out on their own.
2. You need availability as soon as possible.
A group or workshop format is scheduled for multiple couples on a preset weekend.
A private couples marriage retreat, however, is designed for you, your spouse, and your marriage. And it can be scheduled as soon as the retreat therapists have availability.
For a marriage in crisis, this availability could be life-saving.
3. You need to get away from your regular routine.
The most immediate observation you will make about a marriage retreat is that you get to escape your regular routine for a few days.
No kids. No jobs. No phones. No chores. No distractions. No excuses.
Maybe it's been a long time since you’ve spent that kind of uninterrupted time with your spouse.
Feeling nervous about relating to your spouse without all the "stuff" of daily life is one more indication that you need this marriage immersion.
4. You need deeper, more personalized work than what a group retreat provides.
There are definite benefits to participating in a group-format couples retreat. You learn from other couples who may be going through similar challenges, and you inevitably come away with new friendships.
But many group-format retreats aren't available right now — at least, not safely — thanks to COVID.
Plus, your issues and comfort level may not be best suited for a group format. You may need deeper, more personalized work than what you would get with multiple couples involved.
In this case, a private — socially distanced — couples' marriage retreat is ideal.
Your therapist team will work exclusively with you and your spouse toward the betterment of your marriage.
And you will leave the weekend with a plan for going forward and skills to help you accomplish it.
5. Traditional couples therapy isn’t working.
If you’ve been going to couples therapy for one hour every week, how’s it working for you? How long have you been going? And what have your results been?
Do you and your spouse work on your marriage between sessions or simply show up for your hour and go back to life?
The beauty of a couples marriage retreat is that you have an immersion experience. Instead of warming up into conversation and then winding down in the final fifteen minutes of a fast hour, you remain.
You don’t stop short of the difficult work because of time. You stay and go deeper, practicing techniques as you go, under the guidance of caring professionals.
The remarkable benefit of this intensive approach is that you can accomplish nine to twelve months of therapy in one retreat weekend.
6. You want a balanced perspective and expert guidance of both male and female therapists.
Couples therapy with one therapist inevitably has a certain amount of gender-based loyalty strain.
Even the perception by one spouse that the therapist may be partial to the other can be a hindrance to effective work.
In a private couples marriage retreat setting, you have the balanced mentorship of a male and female therapist team. And observing their interactions and communication techniques will guide and reinforce your own.
It really is a team effort, on behalf of your marriage, in an emotionally safe setting.
Of all the priorities in your life, none are more impactful or far-reaching than your marriage.
And treating yourselves to a couples marriage retreat is one of the most impactful ways you can take care of it.
Mary Ellen Goggin offers relationship coaching for individuals and collaborates with her partner Dr. Jerry Duberstein to offer private couples retreats. To learn more about working with Mary Ellen, schedule a ½ hour complimentary consultation.