How To Keep A Long Distance Relationship Going Strong
Rack up those frequent flier miles. You can make a long distance romance work with these few tips.
Love comes into your life when you least expect it. It could be a day when you have no make-up on, 80's rock star hair, and granny-style knickers. It could be a night when your friends drag you to the pub and you couldn't care less about the opposite sex. Then suddenly a sexy new man walks in. And sometimes this new person doesn't live anywhere close to you but you have such a strong and magical connection that you want to make it work. Maybe you meet your new love on a short holiday abroad, and he is too good to let go. You want to make it work because this is a person you do not want to lose. Others may think you are crazy and tell you it won't work, but you know it is something you want to pursue. After carrying on a long distance relationship for over a year, I've picked up a few tips on how to keep the magic, sexual chemistry, and suspense alive.
The Future
You should both have a plan on where you see each other going in the future. Do not be afraid to ask the question. Asking the question early may seem intrusive at the time but far more beneficial in the end. No one has a long distance relationships just for fun. By knowing what the eventual outcome will be not only gives you clarity in your relationship, but keeps you optimistic and positive. When you are emotionally stable you are much more attractive than a needy, nagging girlfriend. If you both don't have the same plan and each party does not want to move to the others city, drop the relationship now. You are only wasting your time and this will only lead to hurt, and possible cheating in the future.
Trust
We all know and say that trust in any relationship is extremely important, and in my experience (and watching many others), I feel trust is most important in a long distance relationship. When you are living in different countries and you talk to your boyfriend who is going out on a crazy night with the lads, you must trust him. You must trust him that he is going to get pissed, but instead of taking the long legged blonde from the bar to his flat, he is taking the kebab from his local shop. Having 100% trust with each other is crucial, otherwise your relationship will fall apart and be a waste of time. You should never lie to your partner, however in certain situations it is preferable not to tell the entire truth. For example if a man asks you out on a date and you say no, it's not worth mentioning it to your partner. It could only cause unneeded stress and unnecessary questions when you two should be having a loving conversation. Consequently, your man should know how lucky he is to have you, so when you do talk to him be as sweet and charming as you can be. He does not need to know that other men have asked you out, because inside he already does.
Know When You Two are Going to See Each Other Next
If you are with your significant other and if one of you can afford to buy a ticket to see each other in the future, buy the ticket in their presence. The key is to have a deadline, that way you always have something to look forward to. Keeping in regular contact is not hard now with the creation of the internet including facebook, myspace, bebo, skype, and mobile phones. On a positive note having a long distance relationship brings excitement when you do receive a message.
Are They Worth It?
You must believe in your heart that all of the stress and work is worth this relationship. A foundation is imperative if you start off dating in long distance terms. You need to devote any holidays you have to one another. If it is only you who is willing to spend your holiday in his area, that is a red flag. Move on to someone else who travels to see you as well.
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Channeling Your Sexual Energy
You are not going to be getting that extra loving for a while, so focus that sexual energy on something else. Join a gym, read more books, find a hobby you have always wanted to do. This way you will be less inclined to cheat and also a more well-rounded and fit person. Also you need to be wary, because for some reason, when we are in a relationship and not available, that is when we have more opportunities with members of the opposite sex. I think this is because there is a certain confidence and presence about us that shows we are not looking which then makes us more intriguing to the male species. This can create a doubtful moment, so be ready and have other things to do then hang out in bars.
Surprises
Instead of the standard email or text message, surprise your boyfriend with a card in the mail. Because of the latest technology we can send a text or an email from just about anywhere. By sending him a hand written letter shows that you took the time out to write and post something meaningful, and it really doesn't take that much more time. Plus, everyone loves opening and receiving mail, a letter that has something nice to say instead of how much money we owe. If you really want to entice him, send a little care package with maybe his favorite chocolate, sweets and some things he will enjoy. That way when he eats his culinary delight, or reads that book, he will think of you.
Kinky Texts and Phone Conversations
If you arouse him with your extraordinary 'verbal usage' he is less likely to go out and find the real thing. Guys are descriptive people. It doesn't matter if you are painting your toenails and wearing plaid Christmas pajamas. All he knows is what you say. Your words and tone are more powerful then you think. When he hangs up the phone with you, that not only makes the conversation more memorable, but he sees a fun and adventurous side to you when you two are apart. During the day send him a kinky text at the odd hour. It lets him know you are thinking of him and your text will trigger his mind in a 'pleasant' way. Hopefully he is not in a business meeting when you send it.
Email or Text Arguments
Don't get into a fight or confrontation over a text message or email. Remember, your boyfriend cannot see your face nor hear the tone of your voice. What you say may sound a lot harsher then you actually mean it. Be careful with this because you don't want your love thinking you sporadically turned into a nutcase, when all you mean is to stress a point. Wait until you can actually talk on the phone.
Contributed by Telina McCord, MatchMaster & Dating Expert, http://www.findyourplusone.com
Follow Telina's crazy tales and dating adventures as a http://www.RSVPtoLove.commatchmaker who is looking for her Plus One at http://www.TalesfromTelina.com and http://www.twitter.com/talesfromtelina