Dating Experts Reveal The 10 Tiny Signs A Man Is A Player
How to outplay the player.
Prostock-studio | Canva We all like to pretend that we’re too old for mind games, ghosting, and playing hard to get, but are we? From tweets to Tinder bios, everyone seems to be saying they “don’t want to play games.” The reality is, that there’s something to the whole “thrill of the chase” thing that can be hard to overcome in dating.
If you’d rather not watch it go down in flames, there are ways to avoid all the drama and look out for all the signs he's a player. We've seen him in movies, we've read about him in books, but what if the guy you are interested in is the player we have come to detest? They say don’t hate the player, hate the game, but what if you could just avoid them both altogether?
Here are 10 tiny signs a guy is a player:
1. He keeps you waiting
Showing up extremely late, failing to properly cancel plans, and not responding to texts or emails during conversation are signs of a blow-off. Your time is not important to him because he knows he can see you anytime he wants.
2. He has a wandering eye
Does an attractive girl come in his line of vision and he loses focus on you to focus on her? Does he distance himself from you when you are together if there are pretty girls around? These could be signs that he wants to appear unattached and available. If he is busy shopping for his "next" while he is with you, let him go.
3. He's a little too flirtatious and friendly
Although this can be a harmless personality trait in some, a player doesn't know how to control it. Flirting is his second language. He calls the lady at check out "hun," the hostess at the restaurant "sweetie," the cute bartender is his new best friend, and the girl in the short workout outfit is suddenly his new spotting partner. Every woman he encounters has potential, in some way or another.
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4. Communication is hit or miss
One day you are texting every two minutes, and the next two days you don't hear from him. If there is inconsistency with your pattern of talking which is not explained by work or other obligations, chances are he sees his connection with you like a library book: He can check in or out as necessary.
5. Your relationship is strictly private
You have seen every movie on Netflix but you have never seen a movie in a theater. You have tried every takeout menu in a ten-block radius, but you have never been taken out for dinner. If you spend more time indoors than outdoors (and not for good reasons), he may be keeping you inside as a chick on the side.
6. He only wants late-night dates
Does Mr. Tall Dark & Handsome only seem to know your number after 2 AM? Does he text you before he's heading out on a guy's night out and tell you he wants to stop by after? Flattering as it may be that he wants to end his night with you, a booty call is what it looks like.
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7. You have no photos together
If he shies away from taking a picture with you, there's a reason. Unless he's a vampire and doesn't show up on film, no photos allowed can mean he doesn't want to be immortalized with you.
8. His friends remain nameless
When talking about his friends, if they are referred to as "the guys," "my boys," or "homies," either he has horrible name recognition skills or he doesn't want to let you get too close to knowing more about his private life.
9. His social media is private
Facebook account? Private. Twitter account? Private. Your requests to be added? DENIED. If you are good enough to spend time with and do the down-and-dirty with, you are good enough to be a part of his social network.
10. He keeps in contact with his exes
And he knows where they live, what they are doing at any given moment and they are still on speed dial. If he is still friends with every girl that he's ever dated, be warned. Guys like this rarely suffer any emotional heartbreak. They quickly move on to the next and somewhere in his mind, he may think you are already the next ex.
Kimberly James is a dating expert who has been involved in the event marketing and dating industry for 15 years.
Telina McCord has always had a passion for exploring, analyzing, and reporting on human relationships. She wrote her entire master's thesis on The Evolution of Dating and became The Girl Who Dated 30 Guys in 30 Days.