Top 9 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life During Quarantine
Make things fun, whether you're with a partner or single!
getty The COVID-19 lockdown does not have to mean “shut down” when it comes to intimacy and lovemaking.
In fact, if you know what you can do, you can figure out how to spice up your sex life and make it better than ever, even if you're quarantining alone!
Your body doesn't need to feel shut down, even during a global pandemic. Turn it on! Shelter in place is a fantastic time for sexual creativity, whether you live alone or with a partner.
Here are 9 ways to spice up your sex life during quarantine, whether you're single or in a relationship.
1. Learn more about masturbation.
You can beat the quarantine blues by practicing self-care — fun fact: Masturbation is self-care! And self-care for any purpose increases connection to your body and better sex.
Self-pleasuring is a win-win — whether you're familiar with masturbation or not really certain about it, in a relationship, or single.
You will get the benefit of sexual pleasure and of learning more about your anatomy and personal likes and dislikes, which will help you enjoy sex with a partner even more.
Plus, masturbation is the safest kind of sex. Self-pleasuring even reduces the pain of menstrual cramps and improves immune function.
It has undeniable health benefits — including heart health, the release of “feel good” hormones, and tension relief, which are so important when you're stressed from everything happening in the world.
Treat yourself with tenderness as you lay on your back or find some other comfortable position for your body. Apply cream to your body as if a lover were doing it — gently, slowly, mindfully.
Talk to yourself as a lover would in your hottest fantasy. Whether sweet and gentle or dirty and rough, you know what you want. So speak to yourself, even out loud, in that way. This is your time.
Give your body some time to warm up. There is no rush.
Approach your pelvic area gently, and maybe even tease yourself with light strokes. Discover ways to amp up the pleasure. Alternate slow and steady with faster and more pressure.
After you are warmed up, get to know your genitals. The more familiar you're with yourself, the more pleasure you will feel.
The exploration is like doing important research so that you know what you like and dislike, what feels amazing, and what says, “No thank you.”
Your sexual preferences, desires, and interests are important, and solo sex is a way to reclaim your body. This is empowerment at its best!
You don't have to be single. Masturbation among married women often translates to greater marital and sexual satisfaction.
2. Use toys to increase sexual pleasure.
Incorporate props, such as restraints, feathers, or eye masks. How about incorporating a sensual massage oil candle? Warm wax on your body is hot beyond the temperature.
If you decide to add props or toys, you have lots of choices. Many online stores provide options along with education and discreet packaging. You can even watch sexy movies together that will get you in the mood.
There are lots of vibrators on the market, at price points ranging from $10 to over $200, and plenty of toys you can view online and get an idea of from the comfort of your home before you purchase them.
3. Get creative with your positions.
If you want to be safe, perhaps if you're meeting with someone unfamiliar, you can still find new positions that allow you to not face each other.
You can also wear a face mask if you feel more comfortable and protected. Get creative and make it fun!
4. Create a sex "checklist."
Together, create a list of sex acts and behaviors you're comfortable with, uncomfortable with, or might be interested in giving and receiving.
This is a phenomenal way to communicate curiosities, desires, and boundaries, and to bring you and your partner closer.
Such lists are also available on the internet if you don't know where to begin!
5. Use food to spice or sweeten things up.
Hello, chocolate, whipped cream, and other edibles.
Use your imagination. Challenge him to lick the chocolate off your body without lifting his tongue.
Or how about placing candy buttons on parts of your body where you each want some extra attention? Fantasy Pictionary, strip poker, Sexopoly, or other couples' sex games could be a lot of fun.
6. Explore different types of non-penetrative pleasure.
You can have sex without intercourse, which is a favorite assignment prescribed by sex therapists.
The emphasis is on touch and limiting verbal conversation. The main purpose is to consensually enjoy each other’s body without having intercourse, oral, or anal sex.
When the pressure is off, the pleasure may naturally skyrocket.
7. Set the mood for intimacy.
Access your senses for the most natural way to connect. Create mood lighting. Light a candle.
Enjoy fragrances to help you and your partner get in the mood (i.e., vanilla, black licorice, cinnamon, and pumpkin pie). Play music to add to the ambiance.
Apps are available to help with creativity and closeness. This is an old idea brought up to speed with technology. Who knew you both liked Piña Coladas on the dunes on the Cape?
8. Draw your foreplay out!
Extended foreplay, as in starting even a day in advance.
Write flirty texts. Walk naked in front of one another. Whisper sexy things in their ear. Suggestively touch, speak innuendo, and notice desire escalating.
You can do this during any activity — even cleaning! — and make it a fun game together.
The point is to start stirring each other up and make you want one another.
9. Add sweetness to your romance.
Back to basics, and add a twist. Re-create the first time you had sex with each other. Try new positions or locations in the house.
Talk to each other about dreams and share your interests. For something a little different, you can even come up with places you'd like to travel to together and be intimate.
Speaking of a twist, how about some naked yoga? These ideas for sex are just examples. Hopefully, you'll feel inspired to come up with your own ideas.
Try roleplaying something sexy, or create a fantasy that involves just the two of you.
You don’t have to be lonely in lockdown. Even a little creativity goes a long way!
Dr. Elayne Daniels is a renowned psychologist who works with men and women on body image and sexuality. To contact her or to learn more about the services she offers, contact her on her website or send her an email.