If You’re Not Confident Enough To Have Sex With The Lights On, You Need To Read This
Love your body.
getty Before having sex, have you ever told your partner or spouse, "Turn the light off if you want me to be naked"?
Most couples want to have great sex in their relationship. However, it's not always easy to achieve, especially if you're lacking confidence.
Here is a common scenario in a cis heterosexual marriage.
Husband says, "My wife won't let me see her naked unless the lights are off or she is under the covers."
Wife says, "My husband does not understand. I don’t want him to see me naked. My body has stretch marks, cellulite, and is not exactly attractive!"
It is rare for women to comfortably disrobe and be naked in front of their husband. How sad! For both men and women, that is.
So, women, how can you get to the point where you can smile and confidently swagger into the bedroom, sans clothing?
It's time for you to learn how to be more confident in your naked body so you can have better sex. Keep this in mind: To your husband, naked equals good. Whether you understand it or not, your husband likely has an appreciation of female beauty and especially nudity — as in, your nudity.
You don’t have to look like a supermodel. You are beautiful because you are a woman, which is entirely different from him and incredibly intriguing.
You have curves. You have breasts. You have soft flesh. You have tender, exciting places down below. Whether you also have ten extra pounds or more, varicose veins, or stretch marks, it doesn’t detract from what he sees.
Men are visually excitable. Your husband is interested in your naked body. So show it off! Strut, girl!
It’s your only body. You can spend your whole life wishing you were taller, shorter, curvier, thinner, fuller, flatter, lighter, darker, or whatever-er.
But the body you have is the body you have. It has served you well plenty of times.
We all have challenges. Disfigurement, trauma, chronic or terminal illness, gravity’s effects...you name it. The severity of the challenge varies.
But, many of us would love to have the very body someone complains about all day long.
Learning to appreciate what you have goes a long way toward being willing to share it with your husband.
Bottom line: This is your body. Your one and only precious body. Find ways to love it. Focus on the features you do like. Keep your body healthy. Enhance what you can.
Live in gratitude for your body. Get over thinking you want someone else’s, and intentionally learn to appreciate this one and only body you have.
He knows you aren’t perfect, but he isn’t perfect either. But, you still can be perfect for one another.
Been there and done that. Truly, what’s the big deal about showing him your body after all you've been through together?
If you are intimately connected in every other way, why withhold this one way?
If you want that deep connection with your man in order to have amazing sex, you have to open yourself up.
Trust him with your heart and with your body. You truly aren’t likely to have a fabulous marriage in every other aspect if you cannot also be vulnerable and open in the marital bed.
Chalk it up to one more thing that makes your relationship unique: You walk through life together in a way you don’t with anyone else, including the way you share your bodies with each other.
Now, go get naked and connect with yourself and your spouse!
Dr. Elayne Daniels is a renowned psychologist who works with men and women on body image and sexuality. To contact her or to learn more about the services she offers, contact her on her website or send her an email.