4 Incredibly Rare Signs The Guy You're Dating Is A Keeper
Here's proof that the relationship you're in will last forever.
Irene Miller / Shutterstock When it comes to dating, you probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of person you're attracted to, the one you want to be in a relationship with.
If you met someone who had similar interests as you and the physical attraction was there, you'd likely feel that you finally found someone you "clicked" with.
But, how many times have you started dating someone you "clicked" with initially, only to find yourself completely disappointed later on?
Attraction is a fickle thing, sometimes, which brings us to an important question: what exactly makes a man or woman an ideal life partner for you?
How do you know if the attractive person sitting across from you on a date will be able to create the kind of relationship you deserve with you?
How do you know if you'll be able to lean on them during difficult times if they'll have your back, and if they'll work with you to resolve the challenges any couple will face?
What elevates them from just a fun date to a mate — in heart, body, mind, and soul?
When you're looking for love — true and genuine love — you don't want just a date or a fling.
You want a "keeper" — someone who will be a true partner to you, for the long haul.
Keepers exhibit a set of beliefs, actions, and ideals that keep healthy relationships thriving through the good times and the bad.
This doesn't mean you need to compromise on physical attraction or other qualities that are important to you.
It means that when you find someone you do "click" with, you want to make sure that they are not just attractive but that they also have the qualities of a "keeper."
So, is the person you're dating a keeper? Here are 4 fail-proof signs that they are.
Here are 4 incredibly rare signs that the guy you're dating is a keeper:
1. They're self-accountable
Keepers are not afraid to question themselves. They put knowledge ahead of ego-preservation and seek ways to help their relationships stay successful.
They ask themselves what they could do to change them for the better. They are not out to win at their partner's expense.
Yet, keepers don't automatically give up their point of view when challenged. You know them by their combination of ego, strength, and flexibility.
They not only hold their integrity under fire but also expect that kind of behavior from people they respect.
2. They see humor as a sacred part of relationships
People who find the humor in life are more resilient to disappointments. They don't laugh inappropriately or use humor to mock, but they do maintain perspective that keeps them aware.
Yet, they also have a keen sense of perspective and don't use humor to lighten up situations that need to stay serious.
They have learned the value of timing and a compassionate heart and can process sorrow and joy with the same gentle appreciation for life.
3. They're authentic
Keepers feel responsible for what they say or do. They don't pretend to portray someone (or something) they are not, or automatically agree with something that they don't.
They wish to remain transparent because they don't play games or want to participate in any.
They'd rather hear the truth from others, too, even if it's uncomfortable.
Keepers choose partners who value them for their honesty. They don't take that right lightly nor do they use their authenticity to unnecessarily point out other's faults.
4. They seek continuous transformation
Keepers are genuinely committed to learning from the past and projecting the future more effectively. To do that, they willingly seek constant new ways of seeing their lives unfold.
They learn from their mistakes and believe in their dreams.
Most people will choose security and predictability over challenge or change. Keepers successfully blend the two. They cherish traditions but always search for better ways to help themselves and others.
This way of being makes them ever interesting and exciting to constantly be around.
Now, if you want the secret on how to attract a keeper, here's an important piece of dating advice: go back and re-read the "keeper" qualities again. Then, ask yourself, "Do I embody these qualities myself?"
If the answer is "yes", congratulations! The best way to bring a "keeper" into your life is to live these qualities yourself!
And if you're feeling disappointed because you don't possess some or all of the keeper qualities, here's the great news: now you know what you need to do to get off the dating merry-go-round and find an ideal life partner for you.
Healthy relationships are within your grasp. Ask yourself what you can do, starting today, to develop these four "keeper" traits.
By doing so, you'll catapult your personal growth and ensure that when you do meet the right person, they immediately recognize you as someone they can't let get away.
Dr. Randi Gunther is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, who helps singles and couples. She is the author of the newsletter Heroic Love.