5 Habits Of People Who Get Happier With Every Passing Year — No Matter What Life Throws Their Way
Overcoming heartbreak is easier and more fun than you might expect.
filadendron | Canva Most people think happiness is a destination, and you need a one-way ticket to get there. This thinking can mislead us and result in looking for happiness in the wrong places while comparing ourselves against impossible ideals. The truth is, heartbreak and stress are going to come your way eventually, but that doesn't mean your happiness has to disappear.
If you find each of your days fades into the next, please know that nothing is necessarily wrong. You might need a few minor changes and a little reset to break the rut, and put some "wow" into our normal, ordinary days.
Five habits of the people who always seem happy, even when life throws them heartbreak and struggle
1. They celebrate the super small stuff
We're the "meaning makers" of our life. If we don't create meaning, appreciate the little things, celebrate our wins, and mourn our losses, then regardless of how good it gets, nothing is going to feel that special.
There are some celebrations you probably already observe (like birthdays and major holidays), but how do you celebrate your little wins? What goal did you reach that's deserving of a high-five?
When you get a tiny raise, work out faithfully for a month, spend two years at a job, or even adopt a dog. It all matters. A study in the Journal of Personality helps us understand why we need to dedicate time to celebrating ourselves and the ones we love. Need a hand getting started?
Try this: Pick a "brag" from your week so far that you're most proud of. Ask a loved one to do it, too. Then find a way to celebrate your "brags" together — just for fun.
2. They accept a fun challenge
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When you look back on your life, you might notice that some of your most challenging times become the most meaningful. Challenges make us focus, think, and call on resources that we didn't know we had. Overcoming a challenge helps us feel significant and accomplished, as supported by The Oxford Handbook Of Positive Psychology.
Pick something that you'd like to achieve and set a goal for yourself. Or take a risk to start something you've always wanted to do but have been afraid to try. And when you reach your goal, celebrate it! Whether it's learning a language, building a backyard deck, or finally organizing your online photos into albums, set a goal and make a game of achieving it.
3. They notice what a wonderful world they live in
One of the fastest ways to create meaning in your life is to look for things you're grateful for. So play a little "I-Spy" with your life. Research in the Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science gives evidence for you to call out what you already appreciate at home, at work, or with friends. Take a moment during breakfast or dinner to turn to a loved one (or friend) and tell them one thing you're grateful for, excited about, or intrigued by from your day.
Another approach is to tell one person per week how grateful you are for them or something that they've done. The great thing here is that when you express your gratitude, those around you feel appreciated and noticed. It's a win for all involved.
4. They get curious when things don't go as expected
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Most of us have unconscious expectations about how the details of our lives "should" go down. At the very least, we all have hopes that our lives will turn out in a particular way. When you're preoccupied with comparing what you have against what you think you should have, you're not able to appreciate what you have for what it is. It's that simple.
But let's get real here. Paying attention to what is working in your day-to-day life is not about adopting a fake, sunny disposition about a crappy job or a hard situation. It's about getting clear on what's important to you and learning how to find it in your current situation.
5. They remember to feel their way through life
When we're bored or checked out, that's our reminder to check back in and ask ourselves, "What is it that I want to feel, and how can I bring more of it into my day?" One good way to move into each day is to start in bed each morning by asking yourself how you'd like to feel that day.
How would you like to feel as you move through it? If there's a hard or challenging aspect of your day ahead, see if you can come up with a way to deal with it that handles the situation but also feels best for you.
As you go forward, build on and develop these five skills to start adding more actual enjoyment to your daily life. But don't worry if you have some days where you feel flat. It's normal. Remember that you can always wake up tomorrow and ask yourself, "What would I like today to feel like?"
Dr. Kate Siner is a teacher, mentor, spiritual guide, and author who has appeared on NBC, ABC, Fox, and other major network affiliates to talk about spiritual and personal development. She’s spoken on WPRO, MX Talk of the Town, Consciousness Network, and TalkStream Radio.