Psychology Says If You Can Master These 3 Skills While You're Single, You're Set For Life
What to do now to ensure you have a healthy relationship in the future.
NoSystem images | Canva Are you worried that you're not meeting the quality of person you'd like to be with? Or that you're not meeting anyone at all? The latter is not usually true, but it has to do with the eyes you're looking through.
In the search for your perfect mate and that lasting kind of love, it may be helpful to remember that you attract people and circumstances to you that reflect your mindset about relationships, baggage from other people you've been involved with, and your fears and vulnerabilities from childhood. Most of the time, you may only focus on the externals, but like everything in life, it's the inside that matters most.
Here are 3 things to keep in mind along your journey while you're single in attracting a healthy relationship:
1. Have a solid idea of what you want in a relationship
Be clear not only about who you would like to have in your life, but also about who you are and what you really are willing to contribute to the relationship. It is always your own job to clean up your act and be willing to offer as much happiness as you want to receive. Knowing who you are, according to research from 2016, can improve your wellbeing.
2. Embrace your vulnerability
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Are you really willing to be emotionally vulnerable and trusting with another person? How are you at releasing or sharing control of the details of your life? Research from 2019 states that being vulnerable can lead to increased feelings of intimacy between couples.
Do you like to have other people in your space? What about all up in your emotional space, asking deep questions? Are you able to tell the truth about uncomfortable things in your life?
This is not easy stuff for most people, and the vulnerability factor often stops people dead in their tracks from having truly meaningful relationships. As a result, most people only have surface relationships that break under pressure.
3. Know that relationships will challenge you
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Relationships will challenge you at all levels of your being. This is the true purpose of relationships, to help you toward growth and maturity. Self-growth is a sign you're doing something right in life, psychology states.
Of course, love, passion, and romance are in there too, but really from a spiritual perspective, the universe uses relationships to propel you forward into emotional places you would otherwise not likely go.
Think about a couple of your previous relationships, or consider your current one. Think about the ways in which you felt pushed, challenged, annoyed, and maybe even angered, and in ways that no one else could reach you.
Also, think of the depth of emotions you experienced, the feeling of falling in love, being totally distracted by thoughts of the other person. Relationships get your attention and put you into emotional places that spill out into every other area of your life.
That’s the way it's supposed to be! Relationships that last will fulfill and challenge you.
Dr. Darnise Martin is an author, professor, and spiritual life and relationship coach who aims to help her clients have true, lasting love and healthy relationships.