You Love People Better When You Master Self Love First

The relationship you have with yourself is the central relationship in your life.

At the heart of all the elements that make up your life experience family, friends, love relationships, work is you. This is why an audiobook about the rules of love begins with a rule not about relationships with others, but rather about the relationship you have with yourself.

The quality of the relationship between you and your self is paramount, for all your other relationships are based on it. This relationship acts as a template from which all the unions in your life are shaped, setting the quality, tone, and texture for how you relate to others and how they relate to you. It establishes the working model of how to give and receive self love. The depth and quality of the link between you and yourself ultimately determines the success of your relationships with others. If an authentic love relationship is what you desire, then the first natural step you must take is to learn to love, honor, and cherish yourself as a truly precious and lovable being. 

The place within you that generates self love is the exact same place that attracts authentic love from others. If that source is clouded, your ability to attract a relationship is eclipsed. In order to bring light to that inner source, you will need first to leam how to give to yourself what you are seeking from another. Love creates more love, and when your own inner love light shines, you open yourself to experience the beautiful wonder of a deep and powerful connection with another being.

At its core, loving yourself simply means believing in your own essential worthiness. It is nurturing a healthy sense of positive self regard and knowing in your heart that you are a valuable link in the universal chain. Loving yourself also means actively caring for every facet of yourself. It shows up in every action you take, from putting on a sweater to protecting yourself from a chill to leaving a job that does not fulfill you. It means tuning in to your own wants and needs and honoring them the exact same way you want your partner to attend to you.

Not everyone grows up to have an innate sense of high self-esteem or worthiness. In fact, most of us need to work at our experience of valuing ourselves to some degree throughout our lifetimes. Each person feels insufficient in one or more areas, whether physical, intellectual, financial, or in interpersonal dynamics, emotional maturity, or spiritual growth.

However, respecting, nurturing, honoring, and cherishing yourself is your birthright and something you can learn. Loving yourself is the best way to learn how to love another. Love is an action that requires certain understandings, skills and capacities. By practicing loving with yourself, you train yourself to advance to the next level … learning how to love another.

Only when you have successfully mastered taking care of your own needs can you know how to extend that same attention to others. When you respect the validity of your own thoughts and feelings, you can apply that consideration to others. When you believe within yourself how valuable you are, you can then bestow authentic affection on a partner. 

Learning self love is the first step you must take in order to tap into the inner reaches of your heart and soul and discover all that you are worth.