6 Simple Ways To Rekindle The Spark & Passion If You Haven't Had Sex In A While
Every problem has its solution and sexual drought isn’t the exception.
getty Being in a sexless marriage can make you feel hopeless about the intimacy in your relationship but there are ways to rekindle that fire and have the best sex again.
Sexual droughts are common in long-term relationships. Two people are very "busy" when they start dating but as their relationship progresses or they end up getting married later on, the spark gradually diminishes. Before you know it, you're having sex once a week...or having no sex, at all.
Sexual droughts are common but unhealthy for your relationship. Sex can be the only thing that makes you a couple rather than roommates.
So, why aren't couples having sex? Every problem has a solution and a sexless relationship is no exception.
Before you start working on improving the frequency of sexual intercourse, it’s important to learn why dry spells occur in the first place.
There are numerous reasons for sexual droughts, including:
- Pregnancy and recent childbirth
- TV in the bedroom
- Conflicting schedules
- A monotonous sex life that decreases your libido and diminishes arousal
- Stress
- Medications
- Negative body image
- Unresolved relationship problems
- Vaginal pain during intercourse
- Mismatched libido
Now that you are aware of the most common causes of dry spells in a relationship, you can start fixing it and bring back the heat.
Here are the 6 ways to fix a sexless marriage or relationship and have the best sex ever again.
1. Talk it out
Communication is vital. Sexual droughts don’t occur for no reason, even in long-term relationships. In many cases, they turn into a huge elephant in the room, but it’s not good for anyone.
Talk it out with your loved one, acknowledge what you miss about your sex life and start working on making it better. Maybe your significant other feels the same way. People don’t read minds and the only way to find out if you’re on the same page is to communicate.
2. Focus on improving the relationship
In a relationship or marriage without sex, the biggest mistake that couples make in trying to overcome dry spells is by focusing on sex only. Although you don’t have sex as often as you used to, you need to put more effort into improving the relationship itself.
Couples in long-term relationships or marriages tend to take one another for granted, which can pave the way to sexual droughts. So, do nice things for each other, express how the other person means to you — the options are endless.
3. Use lubricant
A common cause of dry spells is sexual pain disorder which primarily affects women. They can have vaginal pain, particularly as they’re approaching or going through menopause due to lack of vaginal lubrication.
This doesn’t have to mean you should give up on having a better sex life. You can make things easier and the use of lubricant is a wonderful idea. Lubricant makes penetration easier and thereby less painful.
4. Try sex toys and new positions
If monotony is the underlying cause of your sexual drought, then feel free to experiment. Try out new positions, use sex toys, and dare to explore. This will not only spice up your sex life, but it can bring you two closer thus improving your relationship.
You can even go one step further, discuss sexual fantasies and turn them into reality. Get ready for the best sex ever!
5. Make it meaningful
Having good sex is not just about increasing sexual intercourse frequency. Sex has to mean something. You shouldn’t strive to have more sex just to keep the numbers up and make it seem like you’re not in a dry spell.
Two people need to be truly connected and into each other. Once you do that, both of you will be even more aroused and willing to have sex regularly.
When one person in a relationship doesn’t enjoy sex, they are not likely to repeat it. Therefore, do something that both of you like. Great sex is about giving and receiving.
6. Explore and love your body
You don’t really like your body? Negative body image and weak confidence go hand in hand. As a result, an affected person is likely to get naked and show off their body even if they’ve been in a relationship for a longer period of time.
You can’t let negative body image stop you from having sex. Nobody’s perfect. Every person has imperfections, but they make us who we are.
Get naked in front of a mirror, observe and explore your body. Accept all the things you see so you can learn to love your nakedness. You can even masturbate more often. The more comfortable you feel in your skin, the more likely you are to have sex with your loved one.
Couples tend to go through dry spells due to a number of reasons.
While it may seem there’s nothing you can do, there’s light at the end of a tunnel.
Communicate, experiment, love your body, and explore each other’s fantasies. Don’t forget to focus on improving your relationship.
The options are endless, you just need to start working on bringing the heat back.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, a mentor, analyst, and a researcher.