If You Want Your Relationship To Last Forever, You Need To Know These 10 Hard Truths About Love
It's important to understand the realism of love.
getty Loving someone requires commitment, not just saying the words "I love you" and bandying around the L word each time you have a free moment. You are committing emotionally, physically, and spiritually to another person.
The two people must work towards common interests in the relationship. It might seem like a tit for tat, but it is definitely not.
It must begin from the brain down to the heart and the actions manifest it all. You must first love yourself to be able to understand what the other person means when they say they love you.
Here are 10 pieces of relationship advice to consider, regarding the truths about love.
1. Relationships are not about good or bad people; they're about people that are right for you.
You may go for beauty when searching for a partner, but later, you realize that their character and ways of life do not make the person right for you.
You will find that the other party may not even remain the person they initially were. Individuals change with time.
2. In relationships, the parties should look for the problem in themselves first.
When you feel unhappy with yourself, it’s easy to find where the problem lies. If you blame the other party for what you're feeling, the solution may lie on them, but it's not logical. It doesn't actually solve the problem, since you didn't actually look for the root of the problem.
Taking responsibility of the problem gives you the power to create a solution and is an important step while managing your relationship.
3. In long, committed relationships, you'll never really be sure if you are in love with the other person or if you're just habitual to them.
After a long period of time in relationships, you get fond of your partner to the point where they become more like a brother and a friend. This makes it hard to differentiate from the love you had in the beginning.
4. Trying to be friends with your ex after a breakup never works.
A clean breakup is always required. This assures you that most people don’t end up with the person they always thought was the one.
5. You don't always agree with your partner’s choices.
The thing that matters the most is whether or not you can accept those choices. It's wise to take some time before making decisions.
Instant decision making will certainly give or lead to regrets. Relationships will not always be exciting; there are times of joy and sorrow.
6. There are no equal relationships.
There will always be one partner who loves the other one more, which is so unfortunate, since the one less involved gets to always call the shots. This makes it possible to fall out of love with someone, which leads to a breakup. It may seem like the end of the world, but life always moves on.
7. The perfect relationship doesn’t exist, no matter how hard you try or how many rules you follow.
Your relationship will never be perfect, because perfect doesn't exist. So, you should lower the high expectations of romantic dinners every night or surprises every morning, because this only happens in movies.
The key to maintaining your relationship is just lowering your temper and trying very hard to understand your partner. You will always have something to argue about, but healthy arguments and not unnecessarily ribbing are a way of showing that you are trying to make your relationship work.
8. You have to work for happiness, sometimes for a long time.
Most people want it to come naturally with a great relationship, but happiness is something that you have to work towards. Fight the monotony that is assured to creep in. Forgive some things and take a stand for others, while always working towards happiness.
9. Trying to make it work doesn't always work.
You may decide to make it work and you're willing to try your best, but unfortunately, it can’t work. Relationships work simultaneously and both members need to put in equal efforts.
Your sex life will definitely change as the relationship progresses. The wild passion from before will stop making you go towards a more mature relationship.
10. You will be unhappy at times, and that's completely okay and normal.
Romance is good at times, but sometimes, a lack of it is best. At times, just changing into your pajamas and relaxing with you partner can be far better.
The hard times can be a hidden blessing and you notice later that nothing will develop that bond as much as the hard times will.
In a good relationship, you will need to care and show concern for your partner. You need to treat him/her with love, not ambivalence or fickleness. In a true relationship, love requires actions, because at the end of the day, talk is very cheap and love is shown and that's how you really feel it.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, a mentor, analyst, and a researcher.