9 Warning Signs He's Only Using You For Sex
If you're not a priority, leave him in the past.
kate_sept2004 | Canva It's an amazing feeling to finally be in an intimate relationship. But it can be severely heartbreaking when the realization begins to dawn he might only be using you for sex.
In an attempt to put that thought off, you might be tempted to think, "Well, of course, a healthy sex life is a crucial part of any good partnership, right?" Hold on, though. Just because you can check the super-hot-together box off doesn't mean he is your soulmate either. If you see some of these most common warning signs, they most definitely are not.
If you're asking yourself, "Is he using me?" here are the signs that point to "Yes" (and if this list is super depressing, bear with me, there is happiness if you read to the end.
Here are 9 warning signs he's only using you for sex:
1. You hook up every time you see each other
At first glance, sleeping together every time you get together might seem normal and healthy. But, if every date ends with you in bed together, you might evaluate whether you have more in common than just the physical.
2. He doesn't talk about your future together
If "When we live together...", "When we are married..." and "When we have kids..." are not a part of the conversation — ever — then he probably doesn't see you as long-term.
3. He never does nice and helpful things for you that don't lead to physical intimacy
Does he ever make you dinner when you're not feeling well? Did he repair something in your bathroom that you were ready to call a plumber to fix? Does he cuddle with you and watch Netflix when you're on your cycle? If not, chances are he's only looking out for what he wants — you in the sheets.
4. He doesn't introduce you to his family or friends
Unless he doesn't have any family and friends in the nearby area — and you might wonder why, if that's the case, and he thinks of you as his future partner, he would be ecstatic to bring you home to the family and show you off to his friends. If this isn't part of the picture, think about why.
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5. He has never said, "I love you"
This should seem obvious, but sometimes it can get clouded and forgotten in the throes of a new passion. If he loves you, he will say it. If he doesn't say it, then he probably doesn't.
6. He never makes plans in advance with you and often cancels plans
If he has such a busy schedule doing other things than being with you, it could be that he doesn't prioritize his time with you and doesn't think of being with you until he's "in the mood".
7. He will only see you on short notice
If he only ever calls or texts you that afternoon to make plans with you later that night, he's probably only doing so because he waited to be sure he had no other plans, and he's "in the mood" (see above).
8. He only texts and never calls
Though it's becoming increasingly more common for texting to replace simple conversations — like where and when to meet for dinner — he would still want to hear your voice and know how you're doing if you're more to him than just a hookup.
9. He's flirting with, expressing interest in, or seeing other women
This is the biggie. If he is still interested in other women, whether just looking or seeing someone else, he doesn't think you'll be together forever and only thinks of you as a "for right now" woman.
OK, if you relate to these warning signs, you might wonder about the silver lining. It's you. Now that you have awoken to the realization the man you possibly love is likely just using you as an object, you have the power to end it.
You have the power to say "No more. Never again." You have the power to stop being his for-right-now woman, his last-minute-something-to-do, his backup plan, and his simple pleasure.
And you have the power to hold out for the man that:
- Wants to see you whether you sleep with him or not.
- Can't stop talking about when the two of you will be married.
- Is helpful and kind to you.
- Excitedly introduces you to his family and friends.
- Says, "I love you" all the time.
- Will make plans with you and honor them.
- Will ask if you're available this Friday or Monday.
- Calls you every day.
- Is completely done with other women.
Because only that man is worth your time, hold out for him and make the man just using you a thing of the past.
From one woman to another — hold out for your soulmate.
Dina Robison is a soulmate attraction coach and creator of deliberate attraction online courses.