Why Nobody Should Give A (Bleep) About Celebrities!

I’m driving down Robertson Boulevard in Los Angeles, and in front of me is a TMZ tour bus. I can only imagine the earth shattering things they talk about on that bus. They must have conversations that will make the world a better place to live!

They stop outside the Ivy Restaurant. It’s always packed with paparazzi out the front because celebrities will sit there just to have their picture taken. In fact, they’ll arrange to have lunch there. Their publicist will call the paparazzi who then call the TMZ bus, and then everyone makes their way there to watch this desperate celebrity eating lunch. If you ever thought this stuff wasn’t pre-planned then you’re nuts.

Who cares about the Kardashians, who cares about celebrities? 

Don't even get me started on the Kardashians. I could care less about them. They're boring. In fact, I watched five minutes of their show at the gym, and I thought to myself, "This is a bunch of women in sweat pants sitting around talking about stupid things. I can't believe people find this interesting."

Then I thought to myself, people who are obsessed with celebrities are usually bored with their own lives. I don't mean to insult any of you who are celebrity obsessed, but let's get real. Why are you celebrity obsessed?  

You don't know these people. They're never going to be friends with you, you're never going to hang with them, you're never going to have dinner with them, you're never going to drink a beer with them, and you're certainly not going to have sex with them. So why are you so obsessed with celebrities? Who cares?  

Do you remember when George W. Bush was elected?

They said one of the things that got him elected was that people felt like they could have a beer with him. He was a recovering alcoholic. He wasn't going to have a beer with anybody, yet that was one of the reasons why he got elected!

George Bush was never going to sit down and have a beer with you, just as Kim Kardashian is never going to invite you to her place out in the Hamptons so you can hang with her. Just like Jake Gyllenhaal is not going to hang out with you. Or Matthew McConaughey is not going to play the bongos naked hanging out with you. Do you remember that story, when they caught him high as a kite up in the Hollywood Hills playing the bongos at his home?

You need to look at why you're celebrity obsessed and think to yourself, what is lacking in your own life?

That's all it is. When you're obsessed with other people whose lives seem interesting, you're lacking in other things. When you're always talking about other people, you're lacking in your own life. You're living off other people's excitement because your own life is not exciting enough. I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but I have to tell it like it is because celebrities are just people who act stupid for a living. 

Most the people who are popular are in reality shows, which by the way aren’t even real, they're all scripted, or mostly scripted. You should be talking about yourself. You should be living your own celebrity lifestyle. You should be a celebrity in your own town. You should be doing the things that you always want to do. You should be talking about what you want to do instead of talking about what other people do. You should get rid of your subscription to People Magazine.

Start to love and embrace your own life. Make your own life exciting, fun, and dynamic. Be a celebrity in your own town. Be a celebrity in your city. Because that's what you are. Get rid of your TMZ obsession. It’s all gossip. We've become a gossip society, that's why reality TV is so big. You know you're only watching other people on television that are just like you. Honey Boo Boo? Oh my god! The Kardashians? Please, boring, I could care less. I could care less about what anybody else says except my friends and my close family. I don't really care about other people's lives. I don't know them

"Follow me on Twitter, so you can learn about my boring life."

Pay attention to your life. It's amazing. Los Angeles, a city full of things to do, people are sitting on a TMZ tour bus hoping to see a celebrity. That's exciting to them. Come to LA and see the sights. Come to LA and have a good meal. Come to LA and do some amazing things. Go to the beach. Hang out. Don't hunt down celebrities so you can Facebook it.

"I saw Matthew McConaughey at a restaurant!"

Good for you!

He could care less if he saw you. So stop caring if you see him!