The REAL Reason You're Having Bad Sex (And How To Fix It)

Be prepared, because what I'm about to share with you is going to shock you, and may make you unplug your Hitachi Magic Wand for good.

The other day, a woman sent me an angry email, saying something like this:

"David, guys like you suck. I've had sex for 10 years and have had a hard time reaching orgasm. I've only been able to get there maybe a few times in my life, and that's about it. Some women are just built this way, and that's okay."

She continued to write about her love for vibrators, and how without them she would never be able to achieve pleasure. It really got me thinking and what I'm about to share with you may get you un-addicted to your mechanical boyfriend for good.

Some women are not built that way down there. Some women are built that way in their head. Sex is intimacy. To let go, to really achieve great sex, you need to be 100 percent intimate with yourself first. You need to really understand that we're all built the same exact way.

A good friend of mine is a gynecologist. He tells me every woman can achieve orgasm. Another good friend of mine, the therapist, says the reason why some women can't have an orgasm is because of the lack of intimacy that they have with themselves. So, the non-orgasmic woman gets stuck in her head.

If she can't have an orgasm, she feels that she's inadequate. She feels as if the man is going to get bored of performing whatever type of foreplay. And once she's in her head thinking about it, throw the possibility of orgasm out the window. 

Your life is your belief system. If you truly believe you have issues and you can't have an orgasm, then guess what, you won't be able to. Life is all about programming your mind. The words "can't" and "try" are two of the most disastrous words in the English language. Whenever you tell yourself that you're "just built a certain way" or that you'll try to do something, you're basically telling yourself that you don't believe you can do it.

The secret of the sex toy industry — and let me tell you, I've got friends who are in it, and they make a fortune — is that they subtly influence you to believe that the only way you'll achieve orgasm is with this amazing little toy.

The only way. And they prey on the women that already believe that they're screwed. They even write it in their ads: This is great for women that can't orgasm.

Your orgasm is all in your head. It's all based on the intimacy you feel with yourself. It's all based on your own feelings around sex and how much you can let go during the act of sex. Sure, a vibrator can get a woman off. It's real easy when something is gyrating at 100,000 miles an hour faster, much faster than a human penis.

But is that all really necessary?

Communication is the best way to achieve an orgasm because the more you communicate with your partner, the greater chance of intimacy. In fact, it's the key to turning any man you're with into the most amazing lover you've ever had.

I've been with a lot of women in my lifetime, and all of them had orgasms. Am I the greatest lover in the world? Sure, I'd love to believe that, but it's not true. I'm just a guy that understands women. I also understand sex and how sex is all in your mind. Sex is the connection with another human being. 

I know some of you are reading this right now thinking, "Well, I can't achieve orgasm with a guy that I'm not in love with." That's great. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about the intimacy of the mind. We're talking about letting go of your thoughts, your programming, and your old belief system.

When I'm dating a woman and she tells me that she has trouble reaching orgasm, I'll look at her and say, "No problem. We'll figure it out, we'll get there together, it'll be easy."

You see the words, you see the way that I'm speaking and the tone that I take. Your orgasm is not dependent on a vibrator. But we've become a nation full of vibrating women. It's quick, it's easy and it doesn't allow you to explore yourself or deal with your issues. It's the magic pill of sex. A vibrator is no different than somebody who wants to take a magic pill for dating so they can go and meet somebody. It is the easy way out.

I'm not against sex toys at all. I think they're great. They're fun to use with your partner and they're great on your own. But we've become a nation dependent on the sex toy because we don't really want to dig deep into our own issues. We don't want to look at ourselves and admit to the fact that we have trouble doing something due to the fact that we may have some issues tied around it.

So for those of you that are frustrated when it comes to sex, it's time to look deeper into your intimacy with yourself. Once again, I have nothing against the vibrator, but we've become a nation dependent on vibrators and that's not what sex is meant to be. Sex was meant to be about an intimate act between two people — two people being able to bring each other to beautiful places together.

That's what intimacy is all about. Time to dig deep. Time to get more vulnerable and more intimate with yourself than you ever have before. Once you've got to learn what makes YOU tick, the next thing you need to do is learn how easy it is to turn any man you intimate with into the greatest lover you've ever had.