The 5 Types Of Men Emotionally Incapable Of Healthy Relationships
These types of men will only disappoint.
g-stockstudio | epicurean | Getty Images It’s tough out there in the dating world. Sometimes it’s tempting to settle because the idea of being with someone is comforting. It’s nice to go on dates and to tell people about your partner.
These joys are temporary. Most of you are looking for something more substantial than a boyfriend. In the search for a partner, you’ll need to say "no" to some of the guys who cross your path. It’s hard to decide if a date is worth giving another shot.
Here are 5 types of men emotionally incapable of healthy relationships:
1. Mr. I Love You
Hi, I just want to tell you something. I have to express how I feel. I love you. I know we haven't hung out much in our lives. But I love you. Isn’t that creepy?
Reading a love letter from me was really creepy. It was really creepy writing it. But it's the reality of dating. It's the man who says "I love you" too quickly. Have you been with him? I've met him. I've coached him. So, I've seen him. And I know you've seen him, too.
He's telling you that he loves you, but he doesn't know you. Yet he somehow or another loves you. Interesting, isn't it? You've gone on a couple of dates and it's like he's falling in love with you. Really? It only took him 6 hours to fall in love?
That's pretty fast. He loves the idea of you. He doesn't know who you are. Love takes time. It grows slowly. Love has to make room for mistakes and faults. You’ve heard a million songs about it.
"Mr. I Love You" only really loves the idea of who you are. He hasn’t had time to examine your flaws or know how you feel about the important things. It’s nice to feel loved, but don’t continue to go out with a guy just because he says, "I love you."
2. Mr. Co-Dependent
He loves the idea of having somebody. He’ll cling to you everywhere you go. He never wants to see his friends or spend time alone. He just wants to see your face. He’s not here to support you. … He’s here to drag you down.
Simply put, a co-dependent man is going to drive you nuts. The co-dependent man will become needy. He's going to want you at all the wrong times. The co-dependent man is looking for another mother to love.
You are not looking to be someone’s mother. You’re looking for a partner who can support you and lift you up. The co-dependent man makes you feel needed. Just like hearing the words "I love you," feeling needed makes us feel good.
Eventually, this scheme gets old. When you’re feeling down he’s not going to be there for you. He’ll still need to be coddled. His lack of confidence is off-putting and leaves you making most of the decisions. This is not a partnership. You can do better. Dump him.
3. Mr. Dreamer
The dreamer is a classic romantic. I had a client, years ago, I used to call him Mr. Romantic. He was constantly falling in love. He was falling in love with the idea of these women. He fell in love with who he thought they were. Falling in love with the idea of falling in love.
There are love addicts out there. People fall in love over and over again, in the blink of an eye. You need to be aware of his man because this type of man doesn't know you.
Once again, anybody who falls in love at the drop of a dime is not worth it. He is falling in love with the idea of falling in love. He’s not falling in love with you. He's like a high school kid with a crush. And if it wasn't you, it would be somebody else.
You deserve a man who is falling for you. This is a challenge because statistically men fall in lust first. This leads us to the fourth kind of man ...
4. Mr. Lust
Mr. Lust falls in love with the idea of your body. He comes on strong. If you tell him that you want to wait for a committed relationship, he'll tell you he's falling in love with you. He's a salesman. This salesman is falling in love with the idea of being intimate with you.
So he's telling you all of these ridiculous things just so it will happen. He’s hoping you’ll fall in love with him, so you can feel safe with him, so you can give him what he's really looking for: your body. Which leads us to number 5.
5. Mr. I Love You When We're Being Intimate
He loves to tell you he's in love with you when he’s physically with you. That’s the only time he ever says he's in love with you. He'll look in your eyes, he'll quickly mutter I love you, and then you won't hear a single "I love you" out of him until he's back with you.
What he is saying is, "I love your body. It feels really good and I'm in love with it." Love is something that takes at least four seasons. Love is something that is real. Love is something that doesn't have all the above warning signs plaguing it.
Next time a man starts off as strong as I did and tells you that he loves you right from the get-go, don’t go on that second date. Move on to the next because Mr. Right is somewhere out there waiting to find you.
David Wygant is a dating coach who spent the past 20 years helping men and women transform their love lives. As a lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post, his advice has been offered across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, E! Entertainment Television, and more.