5 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Mama's Boy
Will she get in the way of your happiness?
fizkes / Shutterstock You’ve just started dating this lovely guy. He’s sweet and attentive, but a few weeks into your new relationship, you realize he’s a total mama’s boy.
What's a 'mama's boy'?
The term mama's boy is usually used to describe a man who is overly dependent on or too close to his mother.
While the label has typically been intended as a put down, some people are now using it as a term of endearment and a purposeful rejection of "toxic masculinity."
Loving and respecting your mother is certainly a positive trait to find in a man, but regardless of the newer connotations, some men really do take their reliance on or feelings about their mother to an extreme.
So what does dating a mama's boy mean for you, and what are the future prospects for the three of you in the relationship?
Here are the 5 things you need to know before you start dating a mama’s boy.
1.You won't be the only woman in his life.
It sounds obvious I know, but it’s something so many women underestimate. A mama’s boy isn’t just fond of his mom. He’s crazy about her and she’s just as nuts about him.
They have an unbreakable bond that goes way above the normal once or twice a week phone call. He is her everything, and she’s devoted her life to making him happy. Don’t think for one moment just because he’s falling in love with you, he’s falling out of love with his Mom.
He’ll never stop loving his mom, and unless you can cope with sharing his heart, you better end things before you even get started.
2. He won't be independent.
The mama’s boy is used to having everything done for him. His mom will have done his washing, his cooking, his cleaning, and even his shopping.
I know men in their 40s who still take their laundry over to their mom’s house. That’s right: grown men of 40 years old who still get Mom to wash their smalls.
3. He’ll compare you to her.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s the way you make the bed, or the quality of your roast chicken dinner — mama’s boys have a habit of comparing everything you do to the way his mom does it for him.
He won’t necessarily mean it in a horrible way and he probably won’t even realize he’s doing it. But his mom is the template for the way everything should be done. She’s spent her whole life making him happy and comfortable, and he’ll want you to make him feel the same way.
4. You won't always come first.
Something you need to get used to is not always being his first priority.
You might be going out for a special dinner you’ve been planning and looking forward to for ages, but if his mom needs him to “grab a box from the attic” or “to grab her some pain killers from the drug store” he’ll go rushing to her side.
Sure, he’ll be apologetic and promise to make it up to you, but he’ll expect you to understand and be OK with coming second to mama.
5. He’ll treat you like a princess.
I know I’ve made dating a mama’s boy sound like a pain, but actually, it’s not all bad. One thing about mama’s boys is they know how to treat women.
Guys who are close to their moms are normally sweet, sensitive, understanding, and generous. Their close relationship with their mom might drive you nuts at times, but if you want a man to treat you like a princess then you can’t go far wrong.
So the next time you start dating a mama’s boy, you need to ask yourself whether you’re happy to take the backseat occasionally and whether you can cope with sharing a space in his heart with his mom.
If you’re the kind of woman who has to have her man all to herself, it’s safe to say life with a mama’s boy isn’t going to be for you!
Kathryn Brown Ramsperger is an award-winning author and writer focusing on relationships and cross-cultural communication. Her writing has appeared in Nat Geo and Kiplinger.