3 Reasons Why A Married Man Will (Probably) Never Leave His Wife
If you think he's yours, think again.
Sjale / Shutterstock At least three times a week I get an email from women asking me for "relationship advice" about the married men they're dating (i.e., having an affair with).
These "other women" are frustrated because the guy they're cheating with hasn't left his wife, and they want some form of commitment from him.
Will he leave his wife for me?
If you're a woman who's currently having an affair with a married man, this going to be a virtual slap in the face — and it's one you need.
If he prioritizes you over his wife and he spends all or most of his time with you, that could be a good sign that he wants to be with you. If he also talks to you about his plans for officially divorcing his wife and actually puts those plans into action, that's another big sign. However, you should be careful because there's a line between saying you're going to do something and actually doing it.
But more than likely the answer is no, he's never going to leave his wife for you.
And if a man is already cheating on his wife and you end up with him, chances are also good that he'll do the same to you.
Here are three reasons why a married man will (probably) never leave his wife for you.
1. Between his wife and his mistress, he already has everything he needs.
Why would he leave his wife and kids? He gets to have an amazing time with you with no commitment or responsibility at all, and then he gets to go home and play with his kids. It's the ideal situation for him.
He has the wife who feeds him, cleans up after him, and looks after his children, and then he has his mistress taking care of him in other ways he needs.
A man won't leave his wife for you when it's like having two girlfriends who do everything for him. He's enjoying it!
2. Getting divorced is painful and expensive.
Think about the repercussions of divorce. There's the hassle of lawyers, the fighting, the upset of the children, the financial burden, and a host of other problems divorce throws up.
Why would he put himself and his family through that if he doesn't have to? You seem happy to see him when he can fit you in, so why would he leave his wife?
3. If he was going to leave his wife, he would have left her already.
If this guy loved you more than anything, then even with the pain of divorce and the upset of leaving his family, he'd have left her by now. If he wanted to be with you, and if he loved you like you think he does, he'd have already left his family.
Think about it. He hasn't left his wife because he doesn't want to. Simple as that.
So what do you do about it?
Very simply, you give him an ultimatum. What he's doing isn't fair to you, his wife, or his children, and he needs to make up his mind. You need to gather as much strength as you can, look him in the face, and tell him, "I love you. I want to be with you. But I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to see you again until you move out of your home.
"I want to come to your new apartment. I don't want to keep meeting at my place or hotels. The only way you'll see me again is if you text me or call me with the address of your new apartment. I want proof you've left your wife." Give him this ultimatum and you’ll know where you stand. Are you going to be his partner or will you only ever be, "the other woman?"
You see, the "other woman" is never going to succeed.
The other woman is never going to get the man. All she's going to do is waste her life waiting for a man who will never be hers. She's missing the chance to find a man who's devoted only to her.
I know women that have done this for four, five, six years even. You need to look at your own emotional needs, wants, and desires.
Are you dating a married man because you like to live on the edge? Is it because you don’t want commitment yourself? Maybe you're scared of men hurting you?
A lot of women date married men because they're so afraid of getting out there and meeting men. They have relationships with married guys because deep down, they know it's never going to go anywhere. They don't need to leave themselves 100 percent vulnerable.
Other women just love the chase. They love the drama of trying to win a man who isn't theirs.
You need to figure out who you are. My advice is to stop being the other woman. It's not fair any of you involved, and you deserve a man of your own!
David Wygant is a dating coach who spent the past 20 years helping men and women transform their love lives. As a lead writer for Ask Men and Huffington Post, his advice has been offered across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, E! Entertainment Television, and more.