This Parenting Style Could Give Too Much Love To Your Child
Kids need room to grow.
Изображения пользователя Альфира | Canva The Kid-Centric parenting style is a way to explain how some parents want to make life all giggles and rainbows for their children. But does it teach your child everything they need?
Here’s the parenting style that could give too much love to your child.
1. Healthy attachment parenting
The Attachment Parenting model is highly effective as a therapeutic tool when working with children who have suffered trauma, neglect, or abuse. Healthy Attachment Parenting is much more complex than just trying to make life wonderful and nurturing for children. When parents become too Kid-Centric in their parenting style, the dark side of Attachment Parenting emerges.
2. Attachment is a complex developmental process
This process allows children to become capable and fit social beings. The term "attachment" was coined by John Bowlby in the 1960s and has given rise to a new generation of nurture-based parenting. Strategies to promote healthy attachment of infants and children are shown in scientific literature and are effective childrearing tools. Attachment Parenting is not a plan to nurture and coddle children with the idea that they will magically raise themselves to become healthy and effective adults.
3. Parenting must grow with the child
Infants and newborns need nurturing, cuddling, cooing, and rich interaction with caregivers. Newborn brains are not fully developed, and time spent rocking and gazing into mommy's eyes is critical for proper neurodevelopment. Attachment Parenting must grow with the child. However, when toddlers expand their boundaries, caregivers must expand their kid-centric parenting skills to meet the full spectrum of their child's needs.
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Attachment is the capacity of infants and children to love and be loved, trust and be trusted, care and be cared for. Humans are social beings, and living in society comes with rules. Some rules are for safety. Like 'stay out of the road unless an adult is holding your hand.' That is a valuable safety rule that saves many children's lives every single day. Other rules are for maintaining peace and order in the home. Like 'mouths are for eating, talking, and singing' not biting and spitting at your baby brother.
4. Teaching emotional knowledge and skills
Children depend on parents to learn complex social and emotional knowledge and skills. Toddlers must learn to regulate their emotions and calm their temper tantrums. Preschoolers must learn to take turns with friends, share toys, and pay attention to the teacher. Later in life, these vital social and emotional skills will support children as they grow up to become lawful citizens, respectful students, effective workers, and loving partners and parents.
Parents who are committed to promoting their child's development of healthy attachment are to be applauded! Parenting is the most challenging job on the planet, and raising great children is a feat that deserves recognition. Great parents know, however, that just being nurturing is not enough to raise great kids. Children need to be taught boundaries, respect, lawfulness, and caring.
5. Teaching healthy limits and boundaries
Teaching limits and boundaries does not have to take parents away from the nurturing Kid-Centric model of parenting. It just involves rounding out the parenting curriculum to include setting healthy limits and boundaries. Allow babies and toddlers to learn to self-soothe and self-calm themselves. Take small steps.
Remember, emerging skills happen over time. Most of all, refrain from giving attention to negative or unwanted behavior. This may mean walking away while your toddler throws a tantrum or taking away a treat or playtime from a preschooler who willfully hurt another child. When parents avoid the temptation to give in to unreasonable demands of their children, they will save their children from the dark side of Attachment Parenting!
6. Children need to learn from the consequences of their actions.
Parents can explore consequence-based parenting to increase the effectiveness of Kid-Centric parenting. Slowly, parents must increase the rules and boundaries that define how a child must act and behave. Providing direct and simple feedback lets children know how they are doing. Teaching children that they are responsible for their moods, words, and actions helps little ones become good family members, students, and citizens. Children require support in growing their social and emotional skills! Give gentle nudges when necessary, and praise a job well done. Most of all, balance out the nurturing with a healthy amount of guidance so your child can succeed in the family and the community!
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7. Avoid anxious attachment styles
Children who are not raised in an environment that promotes healthy attachment can develop behavior problems. The attachment style of the parent plays a significant role in the emergence of child behavioral problems or anxious attachment styles during early childhood. Boundary setting and teaching rules about manners and respect are critical for healthy child development. Parents can avoid emotional and behavioral problems by rounding out the Attachment Parenting plan to include other critical emotional and social childrearing strategies.
When parents understand the full scope of Attachment Parenting, they can expand on the nurturing Kid-Centric model and include all the other crucial skills children need to grow up healthy, happy, and whole. Respect, integrity, understanding, and love are essential skills every human needs. Social awareness and lawful behavior are equally important and allow children to grow up to become happy, productive, and successful adults. And that is the purpose of Attachment Parenting, after all!
Darleen Claire is a Personal Development Coach and Parenting Expert with specialization in Parent and Teacher Education, Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and Exceptional Student Education. She writes, lectures, and trains on effective relationships, healthy families, and great ways to solve behavior problems of children.