4 Odd Reasons Men Text You All The Time, But Never Ask You Out
What will you do if he does reach out?
Andrii Iemelyanenko | Canva When you've just started dating a guy, it can be positively frustrating trying to figure out if you should text him, call him, or wait for a call from him. This is even worse when the guy texts but doesn't make plans until you ask.
You go out and have a great date. It's so nice to talk to a man you can have a great conversation with. You smile, laugh, and share similar ideas about life. Then, you don't hear from him all week, except for some texting. You're left wondering what's going on.
Here are 4 odd reasons men text you all the time, but never ask you out:
1. He's just not that into you
As Greg Behrendt says in his book by the same name, sometimes "He's just not that into you." This simple answer cuts deep but has a great deal of validity. While you and your date may have a great time, it didn't necessarily mean the same thing to him as it does to you.
2. He's not in relationship mode
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While he certainly enjoys your company, he's more relaxed about seeing you.
3. He doesn't know that you're a planner
Last weekend you were free at the last minute. So, what's the big deal about making plans?
He assumes that you've probably got very little going on. One study states it's attractive when a potential partner takes the time to plan dates.
4. He is not a planner — and is actually sort of lazy
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Why make plans when he can get the women to call him and take care of it? In light of all these possible answers, what should you do? Should you text him? Does he like you, or is he just killing time with you?
I know you're anxious to see him. And I know it seems harmless to send a simple text to ask about weekend plans — but don't do it.
Here are some reasons why you shouldn't continue being the only one initiating plans:
- If he's not that into you, you might as well know as soon as possible. You delay finding this out if you don't wait to see if he will contact you.
- If he doesn't have the same dating agenda as you, you should find out sooner rather than later. For example, he may be a casual dater while you want a relationship. Don't pick up the phone. Wait to see how hard he tries, which will tell you more about his agenda.
- If you call a man because you are impatient or think it's not a big deal, think again. The last thing you want to do is give a man the impression that you have nothing else going on. That won't make him want to pursue you. This doesn't create mystique or make him curious about what is going on with you. When you have a full life of your own, you are much more attractive to men. One study from eHarmony confirms how attractive it is to have hobbies.
- If he's lazy, and you don't mind always being in charge, go ahead and call him. But don't get mad later when you are tired of being the one making plans. Keep in mind that you trained him this way from the start. So, you will have no one to blame but yourself when you get sick of it.
The best dating strategy is to make plans for yourself. Don't want to wait for a call from him until the last minute? Then don't. Make plans of your own and go about your life. Find fun things to do with friends.
When he calls at the last minute, you can say, "Oh, that sounds like fun. Too bad I already have plans. Maybe next week." You can feel free to offer an alternate time, which lets him know you are interested, but he will also get the message that he needs to make plans in advance. If he truly has interest and wants to date you, he absolutely will do just that.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.