10 Misconceptions About Online Dating That Are Keeping You Single

Many singles have a lot of misconceptions about how online dating works. As a dating coach for women over 40, I have come up with the most frequent mistaken ideas that need to be dispelled. Once you have a more accurate understanding of how the process works, your chances to connect will improve dramatically!

1. The steps required to find love online are not obvious. Most women think they already know everything needed to find love online, but that's not often true. Assumptions cause daters to become disillusioned quickly. Take time to learn what works because online dating does require some skill to have good experiences.

2. There are so many choices that you can afford to be picky. Yes, there are millions of singles online and yet, I've had clients who viewed 5,000 profiles and couldn't find more than five decent men to contact. It's easy to disqualify men quickly. But, to find love, say yes to more men and actually meet them because dating is a numbers game. The more men you meet, the better your chances will be of finding a good match.

3. Your profile should say everything there is about you. This big misconception leads women to write long and boring profiles that men do not read. Your online dating profile is not your resume. It's a form of advertising meant to capture a man's attention so he emails you. You can fill him in about the rest later as you get to know each other. 

4. You should weed out the "wrong" guys by explaining the type you don't want. Unfortunately, when you talk about the kind of man you don't want, you sound negative, hard to please and maybe even a little like a man-hater. Don't do it! Write about the kind of guy you want since this is far more appealing to men.

5. Spelling errors show a man's intelligence. I don't have a single client whose wish list for the ideal mate includes good spelling. Yet, women constantly disqualify men due to spelling. Spelling does not indicate intelligence. People who excel in math often aren't as good with language skills. Plus, being good at spelling won't make a man loyal, fun, loving or good in bed. Overlook a few errors to find out if the man is a potential mate, not an English teacher.

6. Express yourself by posting your favorite vacation photos. Your online dating profile is not the place to display vacation photos. The only pictures to post are photos of you, standing or sitting alone. Sunsets or party shots distract men from focusing on you.

7. Who cares if your photo isn't current? The men you hope to meet and date care! A photo that's a few years old is okay if you still look the same. However, if you've gained weight, changed your hair or aged (when your photo is 10 years old or more), this is false advertising. You don't want a man to be disappointed when he meets you, so post current photos.

8. Everybody lies about age. That's not exactly true. Yes, some people fudge their age, but keep in mind you are starting your relationship with a lie. As a dating coach for women, I don't advise this. If you feel you must fudge because you're on the cusp of a decade (42, 51, etc.), admit your real age in the profile. You'll show up in the age search, but he'll know your real number. 

9. If he's texting, emailing or calling you often, he must be really into you. Sorry to say it: this is false. There are men who want a connection without ever meeting or dating you. Yet, virtual relationships are not the real thing. Don't fall for this regardless of his reasons like busy with work, lives far way, trouble with his children, etc. It's all nonsense! Please move on to find real love.

10. All men online are scammers. Seriously, that is a wild generalization. A slim minority of people are scammers who ask for money. If a man's profile goes on and on or is poorly written, if he writes you long emails, builds a virtual relationship, then asks you for money, dump him fast and block him on the site! Fortunately there are plenty of good men out there. Dating sites like eHarmony that require answering a series of questions cut down on the scammer since they don't want to fill everything out.

Are you struggling to find love? As a dating coach for women over 40, I can help with proven dating methods that have helped thousands. Get more dating tips in my FREE book 5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away. Find love with the right man as quickly as possible and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way.