How To Create Your Own 'Husband Material' Checklist

Are you a single woman in the market for a husband? This week YourTango has been featuring posts based on their survey about what makes a man husband material. Everyone defines what it takes for a man to be husband material differently, although there are some basic similarities for sure.

If you are dating to find your romantic partner, then it would probably be helpful to know how to tell if the men you meet measure up. Whether you have found a great guy but haven't married yet or are still looking for Mr. Right, The Husband Material Checklist is a must have for the single gal. I pulled the list together from the other YourTango experts and added a couple of my own from my dating journey to find my husband.

Even though the list is fairly comprehensive, here's what you won't find: any external traits such as height, weight, body type, hair or eye color, fitness level, similar interests, job, level of success, salary, type of car, fashion sense or even religion.

I know some of these characteristics may factor into how attracted you feel to a guy. But overall, they did not make the husband material checklist for a good reason: They are not strong indicators for a long-lasting, healthy, loving relationship with the right man. This is particularly true based on the survey results, but I also know this as a dating coach for women with 11 years of experience.

Read over this 20-point checklist to see what qualities are important to you in a man. Then decide for yourself what matters most to know if your man is husband material and create your own checklist.

1. He's grounded. While you may prefer the excitement of a bad boy, it can also be nerve-racking. A man who is practical and grounded makes a better and more pleasant long-term partner.

2. He's reliable. When you trust a man to make a plan and follow through, you know you can count on him as a stable partner. Reliability can never be overrated.

3. You both have similar goals. Sharing similar life goals is crucial to a relationships long-term potential. Do you both want children, live in a city or country, to retire early? Divergent life goals very often cannot be worked through.

4. He's flexible. A man who can handle the curve balls that life throws is a man you can spend a lifetime with. This is a great quality for husband material.

5. He's honest. In 11 years as a dating coach, thousands of men and women have told me their top priority is honesty. Without it, you cannot have trust.

6. You both have similar values. Having similar values provides a strong foundation for understanding each other and choosing similar ways to handle things.

7. He's romantic. A little romance in a man is such a pleasure and a sure sign he's got husband potential.

8. He's attractive. Naturally, you need to feel attracted to your man. That helps to keep your love alive.

9. He's warm and loving. There's nothing like a man who is warm and loving and knows how to demonstrate his feelings for you.

10. He opens his life to you. You want a man who is ready to blend you into his life. It's a very good sign he's husband material when he introduces you to his family and friends.

11. He's respectful. For a relationship to go the distance, you must respect each other. Without this factor, a relationship can disintegrate, so respect for you is key.

12. He treats you well. You know your man is the right one when he treats you well. He keeps the chivalry going beyond after the initial honeymoon phase.

13. He shows concern. You want to know your man cares for you. He asks about your day, your job, your health and your feelings among other things which definitely makes him a keeper.

14. He makes you happy. You've just got to love a man who wants to make you happy. You know what they say, "A happy wife is a happy life."

15. He lets you be yourself. With the right man, you feel very comfortable and are free to be yourself. He accepts you for who you are, which helps you feel secure.

16. You enjoy his company. If you plan on staying together for the long run, then you better enjoy his company! 

17. You both can laugh together. His ability to make you laugh is so important, especially when times are tough. If you can laugh together, you can stay together.

18. You can talk to him. In every relationship, situations will pop up that need to be worked through. Being able to talk things over is crucial to long-term happiness.

19. He has a good heart. This trait was one of my priorities when I was dating. I wanted a man with a good heart who cared about people because I knew this would be a good indication of how he would treat men.

20. He's commitment ready. Ultimately, a man is husband material when he is able to commit to you. If he is open to monogamy and marriage, then you know there's a chance for you two to tie the knot.

If you or someone you know is struggling to find love, I am ready to help with expert dating advice and coaching. You can get more tips by downloading my FREE book "5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away." And if you want to ask me questions directly, join the Inner Circle and call in on the first Monday of the month. My goal is to help you find love with the right man as quickly as possible and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way.