The Real Reason You Can't Seem To Meet The Right Person
Important tips for those looking for love.
dekazigzag / Shutterstock But, why does it seem so hard to find the right partner?
"Will I ever find love?" you ask.
Is there something wrong with you? Do you not know how to date? Is it just not meant to be? Or is it because love is just a lie?
Hardly!
After working with hundreds of people looking for love and healthy relationships, I can tell you that those who are having a hard time are simply following the wrong strategy.
If you look at what they are doing to find love these days, they are actually not following a very effective strategy at all.
A lot of people will simply surrender their love life over to "fate", "luck", or "the stars."
This is nothing more than playing passively in relationships.
Here's an important piece of dating advice: You certainly wouldn’t expect to get great results if you just let "luck" or "fate" drive any other area of your life, would you?
We all know that if you want to stay fit and healthy, you have to be an active participant in your own health. And if you want to succeed in your career, you have to be proactive and take the initiative.
Finding success in pretty much any other area of life requires action, consistency, and just doing what works.
So then why do people not do this when it comes to love and relationships?
I believe it’s due to far too much romantic conditioning through movies, TV, or other aspects of popular culture. Sure, there are some people out there who may have met their perfect partner through chance or circumstance — you hear about these sorts of stories from time to time.
But that doesn’t mean that you should be making real-life decisions that will impact your life based on wishful thinking.
Are you ready to love? If what you’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to let go of it and find what is working.
So what sort of dating tips actually work when it comes to finding love?
Simple.
There are 3 simple steps to finding the right person:
1. Know who you are trying to be in a relationship with
This also means you need to understand who you do not want to be in a relationship with.
Few people actually stop to think about what they really want in a partner. What values are important to you? What are the dealbreakers that you will not put up with from anyone?
I can’t answer these questions for you — you have to find your own answers.
2. Put yourself in situations where you are likely to meet the sort of person you actually want to be with
So many people are looking for their partner in the wrong places: bars, clubs, online dating, etc.
But, just the same way you’ll never find a Gucci bag at Walmart no matter how hard you search, you may never be able to find a heart-centered, compassionate, and considerate lover if you’re looking for them in the wrong places.
3. Form an unshakeable emotional connection
Don’t get me wrong, chemistry can feel wonderful — and it is definitely important!
But, it is by no means a signal that people are meant to be together.
Why? Because you can have chemistry with pretty much anyone you interact with if you learn how to form an emotional connection.
The problem is that people don’t know how to do this. So, when they meet someone that they naturally "click" with, it can seem special. But, just like any other skill, a strong emotional connection is something that can be learned.
And it’s that strong emotional connection that inspires people to commit to one another.
These 3 steps are part of a dating strategy that works.
So, if you want to actually get amazing results in dating or love and get this whole relationship part of your life figured out once and for all, then it’s time to stop relying on "luck" and it’s time to take an active role in your love life by doing what works.
Clay Andrews is a Dating & Relationship Coach and co-founder of Modern Love & Advanced Relational.