3 Keys To Bouncing Back From Rejection
When we feel rejected, we are consequentially rejecting ourselves.
getty The feelings that come with rejection can throw up a whole manner of self-reflection.
We've all been there — booted out of a job, dumped by a partner, or had a few doors slammed in our faces (physically and metaphorically).
Most commonly, we feel like we're not good enough. Or, we feel desperately unwanted and alone.
But the good news is you can learn how to deal with rejection in a healthy way.
When I suffered from low self-esteem and depression, I was extremely sensitive to rejection.
If a situation didn’t go the way I wanted it to, I would regurgitate all the things I disliked in myself to justify the reason why I had been rejected.
How so very far from the truth I was! But I had no rational view at the time with my negative mindset.
As a society, we rely very heavily on the need for other people’s approval. This includes the decisions we make, the actions we take, and how other people respond to our thoughts and feelings.
If we experience disapproval from someone, we may battle to restore their approval by changing our behavior to suit them.
It's impossible to please everyone — we will always base our decisions on the judgment we have of ourselves. Our perceptions change as the relationship with ourselves improve.
The good news is that when you heal from rejection, you start seeing things differently.
Here are 3 the keys to bouncing back from rejection, so you can look forward to the future.
1. Develop some self-respect.
Get into the habit of respecting yourself more.
What could you change about the relationship you have with yourself. How could it be more valued?
Start by writing out all the amazing things your body does for you to keep it alive. Not something we necessarily think about, but good to be aware of.
2. Realize that no one is perfect.
When we feel rejected, we are consequentially rejecting ourselves. We each have different perceptions and opinions, which make us individuals.
As a result, we will never be the perfect person for everyone.
Unless someone feels perfect in themselves, how can they then perceive perfection?
3. Build your self-esteem.
When we build our self-esteem and change the relationship we have with our mind, we no longer rely so much on other people to make us feel good about ourselves.
If you're sensitive to rejection, then there are ways you can look to improve your self-esteem.
What are your most positive traits? What do you do well?
What do people like about you? What makes you feel good about yourself?
When you look at your list, think about how you can connect with these things more often.
Remember, people are judgemental of themselves, too.
When someone says "no" to you, ends a relationship with you, or ignores your messages, take some time to consider what may be going on in their life.
Also, how does that person relate to themselves? Are they happy in themselves enough to be able to validate or approve of your actions?
Are they going through a difficult time or feel insecure?
Our responses to each other are all relative to how we feel in our own mind, and some days are better than others!
Caroline Rushforth is a certified NLP Coach and Life Coach with over 10 years' experience helping super-caring women who are overwhelmed with worry, negative thoughts, and low self-esteem. She offers a free 30-minute consultation via Zoom or Skype. Send her an email at caroline@carolinerushforth.com.