4 Not-So-Great Things That Happen To Your Libido As You Age (And What To Do About It)
Sexuality is important, even as you age.
Getty The female libidio changes as women take their journey through the aging process.
Symptoms women experience regarding female sexuality with age, are symptoms all women experience to varying degrees.
We need to stop thinking of sex as just "sexy".
The view our culture has about sex is limited, especially when talking about female sexuality. And, it becomes even more limited as we talk about female sexuality with age.
Unfortunately, our culture is youth and beauty oriented, even though aging is a natural and normal process.
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If you're a women whose aged past the sexual prime of her youth, you can expect lots of changes in your libido and sex drive. However, try not to compare your sexuality to that of a young woman. Young women's sexuality is more biologically based, and drives them to reproduce. A young woman's biological functions rule her sexuality.
Female sexuality with age gives a woman freedom from this overbearing biological urge to merge and reproduce. Female sexuality and libido don't go away; only the urge goes away. When a woman is no longer "controlled" by this biological longing, she has greater mobility to cultivate her sexuality. That's if she takes the time, energy, and effort to do so.
She can learn how to increase her sex drive and "keep it alive" through sensual practices. And by keeping her sex organs healthy using methods such as the jade egg practice.
What are the signs of aging when it comes to female sexuality?
Here are 4 common changes to libido, sex drive, and sexuality when a woman is aging:
1. Low libido
While mostly older women report having little to no sex drive, it is not just a problem that comes from age. It is possible for young ladies to experience this; it can even be a chronic problem. A young woman (early 30s) at a women's circle shared how she was suffering from low libido. Women's sexual needs aren't being met, and in some cases, a woman might be making her partner's needs more important than her own.
Yes, older women can find themselves no longer interested in sex as they age, however, if their sexual needs are addressed, they readily respond. All women do, no matter what age.
Besides, who is to define what your libido should be like? Female sexuality with age requires us to shift our focus and adopt new ideas of what sexual energy is. For me, it's a spiritual energy. The loss of libido is only a loss if you compare it to the urge you had when you were younger. Libido needs a new lens as women age.
Sexuality, as you age, isn't for reproduction. It's for vitality. Taking good care of yourself as an aging woman is a big part of your overall sexual health.
2. Painful intercourse
Again, if you talk with young women of all ages who are sexually active, they'll share that they have experienced pain during intercourse. What is going on?
Pain during intercourse can be because you aren't ready to receive. You haven't been given the time to respond and open.
You are the one receiving. Are you ready? Maybe you're dealing with a selfish lover? Are you asking for what you need?
The symptoms women experience regarding sex when they're older are the same symptoms all women experience. It goes back to the cultural belief that women's sexual needs aren't important. And the only way you can make your sexual needs important is to reclaim your body.
3. Lack of lubrication
Younger women inherently are going to have an easier time with lubrication. But when a woman's yoni (the yogic term for vagina) is honored, it opens up like a flower and even like a fountain. No matter what age!
Dry yonis are often the result of dishonor and neglect. Yes, hormones play a big role. However, emotions can't be separated out from a woman's hormonal health.
A woman's lack of lubrication can happen readily and easily if she doesn't feel right about the sexual situation. Her readiness is intricately related to her emotions.
Nonetheless, engaging in sex as an older woman can present lubrication issues, but this can happen to any woman. If a woman's sexual environment isn't supportive of her needs, she won't respond.
4. Difficulty having an orgasm
Many women have a hard time climaxing. This is very common. The problem is you've compared your sexuality to that of men. You've tried to fit your sexuality to match men's sexual needs. This is absolutely crazy! No wonder there are dry and unorgasmic women! Women's sexuality is completely different than men's, no matter what age.
Orgasms are an absolutely wonderful thing, but you could be missing out on a lot if you are making orgasm your ultimate goal during sex.
If you're having a hard time with orgasm, it's because you're not getting the right kind of stimulation. What's the right kind? It's the right kind for you. And that is very specific for each woman.
The later years of a woman's life are a wonderful time to be sexual. She doesn't have to worry about pregnancy. Probably, she knows herself better than when she was younger. She no longer is controlled by "the pretty pressure." And she is probably more willing to slow down and enjoy herself.
As women age, they do need to take care of their sexuality and nurture it. If you don't use it you lose it. But women of all ages experience these challenges. You need to free yourself from the lies you've been told and create a juicy sensual life for yourself, no matter what age you are.
Anna-Thea is an author and educator. If you want to learn how to stay more juicy and sensual as you age self-love is a big part of it. Please check out Anna-Thea's online school The Art of Self-Love & Emotional Empowerment for more information.