How To Hit On A Guy

Guys are sick of doing all the work!  Seriously.  They want you to approach them.  (Well, according to my reasearch 95% of them do anyway.)  The good news is, hitting on a guy is much easier than you think.  Here's how to do it:  

Approach Alone. If you’re going to hit on a guy, you have to be willing to go at it alone. This isn’t a "me and my friends are going to go to the bathroom together" type of occasion. If you bring friends, a guy will get confused about who wants him: is it you, or the girl standing next to you? Making the initial approach alone also shows confidence and independence, which any guy will tell you are the two hottest accessories.

Buy him a drink. If you’re at a bar, ask him what he’s drinking, and then order him one. Guys buy girls drink all the time, so they welcome the chance to be treated for once. Plus, it shows you’re not just a “typical girl” who just expects a guy to pay all the time.

Insult him. This is a trick that guys use to hit on girls who are out of their league. But you know what, it works on guys too. Don’t say anything too mean, but feel free to tease him about something he’s wearing, drinking, buying, or saying. Just make sure to give him a flirty smile as you’re doing it.

Ask him a question. Yes, this one is basic. But you can strike up a conversation with a guy anywhere just buy asking him a question. If you’re in a gym, ask him how to use a piece of equipment. If you’re on a subway, ask him what he’s reading. If you’re in line at a supermarket ask him what exactly he plans to cook with peanut butter and hot dogs.

Touch him. A sure way to show a guy you’re into him is to find ways to touch him as the two of you are talking. Lean in and grab his arm, playfully smack his stomach, or put your hand on his back if you have to scoot behind him.

Walk away. Once you’ve made the initial attack you have to retreat back to your bunker. After you’ve boosted his confidence by hitting on him, you also have to let him know he’s going to have to work for it—you’re not just going to follow him around all night. By hitting on him, you’ve given him the green light. If he wants you, he’ll come find you later.

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Say anything. The truth is, most guys are so relieved that a girl is making the initiative that they don’t care what you say. If you approach them, they don’t have to approach you, and for that, they’re grateful. So while flirty lines and witty conversation starters will give you bonus points, if all you can think to say is: “I’ve met you before. William right?” It probably won’t make that much of a difference.

So to recap here is the perfect pick up: You spot a hottie across the bar. You leave your friends, walk up to him, and ask what he’s drinking. He tells you “Tanqueray and tonic.” You say: “Oh, feeling fancy tonight huh?” You tell the bartender: “Tanqueray and tonic for the lady, and I’ll have a Guinness.” You hand him his drink and proceed to make conversation about what he does, where he’s from, Tanqueray vs. Beefeater, and throughout the conversation touch him on the arm, the leg, the chest, wherever you can get away with without being creepy. After ten minutes you walk away. Then, a half hour later he comes back to you and gives you his number.

Or, you walk up, loose your nerve, and just say: “Hi.” Chances are, you get his digits anyway.

Amber Madison is a sex educator, lecturer, and author.  She interviewed over 1,000 guys around the country for her latest book, Are All Guys Assholes?