How To Be More Confident In The Bedroom

My boyfriend loved the sexy lingerie, the lights on and the new positions but I wasn't always so comfortable about doing these things. I didn't have the body I wished I had and sometimes it was challenging for me to hold certain positions for him. Women Want It All And More – Why We Aren't Getting It

Sure I was thin and felt pretty good about that, but I was diet thin. I was not in shape, and despite my size six figure I was actually pretty flabby. I didn't like him seeing that flab in my thighs, arms and stomach. It was so embarrassing and I would cover them up in my little outfits as best I could, try to lie in certain ways on the bed or I would do the things men love to distract him from noticing. 

I knew I didn't have the strength and stamina he did to do some of the things he wanted or as long as he wanted. Not that he was complaining because he wasn't, but it was exhausting for me, mentally and physically and it took away from the pleasure we could've had. 

I remember years ago a wise sexual education teacher in college told our class that the key to great sex was to focus on giving and receiving pleasure regardless of your size and shape and I took that to heart. But the truth is there is a huge difference in the bedroom when you are fit.

I have been fit for nearly ten years, and there is no comparison. The most obvious difference is how much confidence I have; I can wear anything or nothing and feel totally relaxed either way. It doesn't matter to me how much I am seen and I actually like the attention now. 

Men are visual, so encouraging this is exciting for the new man in my life. He likes how open and willing I am to do or wear anything; he can tell that I really am totally comfortable fulfilling his requests. Even better, I really enjoy it, encourage it and have found a playful sexy side of myself in the process. 15 Little Ways To Feel Incredibly Attractive In 5 Minutes Or Less

More confidence advice from YourTango:

• 5 Steps To Become The Type Of Person Who Makes All The Right Decisions — With Confidence
• Are Breasts The Source Of Self-Confidence?
• How to Date With Confidence

What a turn on for him. My confidence is not just in how I look; it is how I use my body and my new found freedom of being myself as an equal in the bedroom.  I am no longer trying to hide who I am but rather I celebrate it and play with it. 

Even better, there are so many more things I can do now that I am in shape. I thought I had a good idea of all the possible positions and moves you can have with a man and I probably did for being unfit.

Everything changes when you have upper and lower body strength and you are aerobically fit. With a creative and willing partner, which I now am, the sky is no longer the limit. What we can do, how far we can go and how good it feels is mind blowing. 

I often think of Kendra Wilkinson and the sex room she and Hank have to play in. They are super fit, and I can only begin to imagine how much fun they have and we know they do!

It saddens me that I spent so many years focused on the wrong thing, thinking being thin was all that mattered for being sexy. All I got from that was a pre-occupation with dieting and the struggle to be thin or good enough, which only lowered my self-confidence, stamina and sexiness. 

Fortunately I discovered Kendra's secret and am having almost as much fun as she is. 12 Ways To Be Confident In Your Relationship (And Stop Feeling Insecure)

To learn how I became a fitness success story in my mid 40s, get my free e-book called Feel Your Personal Best.