There's No Magic Cure For A Broken Heart — But These 3 Steps Can Immediately Help
Three keys that can move the healing process along more quickly.
WIRAKORN DEELERT'S images | Canva / R_Tee | LightFieldStudios | Goodboy Picture Company | Getty Images A broken heart is one of the most painful feelings a person will experience. The sadness that accompanies a breakup or divorce is incredibly intense. The more love that you felt for your ex-partner, the more your heart will suffer.
Unfortunately, there is no instant cure for a broken heart. However, that doesn't mean you are destined to feel that agonizing hurt for the rest of your life. Although you will feel alone, sad and depressed for a while, there are some steps that you can take to help overcome your sadness.
Recovery from a broken heart will take time, but these steps will help you deal with the hurt that you are feeling and speed up the recovery process. While they are not an instant remedy for your crushed heart, they will help you get through this difficult period.
Here are 3 steps to move on and find happiness after a breakup:
1. Take control of your emotions and feelings of heartbreak
It is easy to lose control of your emotions when you are in such a desperately sad state following a breakup or divorce. You will feel a wide range of emotions including intense sadness, incredible anger, and rejection.
You will sometimes feel angry at yourself and sometimes feel anger toward your ex. If you can't take control of your emotions, you will find it difficult to move on.
A roller coaster of emotions is perfectly normal, and there is nothing wrong with experiencing such a wide range of different emotions, just as long as those emotions don't take over your life. If you are feeling sad, let the emotions out, have a good cry, and move on. If you are feeling angry, let those emotions out too; go punch a punching bag or go to a secluded, private place where you can scream your lungs out.
If you continue to let your emotions bring you down and you find yourself unable to get past them, you might fall into a depression that can be very difficult to climb back out of.
2. Accept that the relationship is over
Everything in life happens for a reason, and if you can look at your breakup with this attitude, you are one step closer to mending your broken heart. Even though you may have felt, and probably still continue to feel that your ex is "the one" for you, the reality is that he/she is not. Otherwise, the both of you might still be together, living happily ever after.
Perhaps this relationship was never destined to work. If this person isn't "the one," as long as you are still with this person, even in spirit, it will prevent you from becoming emotionally available to allow Mr. or Ms. Right to enter into your life. Maybe this breakup or divorce happened for a reason so you could change paths in your life journey and find the person you are meant to be with.
You will eventually find happiness again, and as soon as you accept that this relationship is over, the sooner you can open yourself up to experiencing happiness.
3. Let go of the breakup and move on with your life
Sometimes you just need to let go and move on. The ending of this relationship is exactly that: an end of one relationship. Your breakup or divorce does not mean that life as you know it will cease to exist, even though it might feel that way. It's just the end of one particular chapter in your journey. When it is obvious that this relationship wasn't meant to be, you can let go and move on with your life.
Although breaking up from a relationship or going through a divorce is incredibly sad and painful, try to remember that you have your whole life ahead of you, and many more fantastic experiences await. There is no magic cure to heal a broken heart, but you can begin to recover from the heartache and move on with your life.
Learn from the experiences you shared with this person and become stronger as a result. It's time to move on and enjoy the rest of your life.
Aaron Kaplan is a Coach Training Alliance-Certified Coach (CTA-CC), Certified Prepare-Enrich Facilitator, and CDC Certified Divorce Coach, who also happens to be an ordained member of the clergy.