Did You Get Dumped? How Your Ex Is Doing You A HUGE Favor
If you recently got dumped, your relationship probably wasn't that healthy anyway.
Have you recently been dumped? Does it seem like you cannot make heads or tails out of your life right now? It's alright, just calm down and listen. Getting through this breakup will take some work but it is not an insurmountable obstacle. Who knows, maybe your soon-to-be ex is actually doing you a favor.
If the relationship is ending, then it probably hasn't been the healthiest of relationships for a while. If the two of you have hung on for whatever reasons, you may feel some sense of relief when it is finally all done.
When it is over, give yourself a couple of weeks to a whole month and allow yourself to just simply be yourself, without trying to be someone you aren't, or who someone else thinks you should be. You may find this aspect of your relationship break up very appealing, especially at the beginning.
When dealing with all the difficult emotions that will rear their ugly heads, try not to get too caught up in the mundane "chores." They may seem like more of a "chore" if you have a break up on your plate, too. Leave the dishes for another day; don't make the bed, but make sure you get to work and pay your bills on time. Not doing some things will get you in more trouble and you do not need that hassle.
One of my clients had her relationship fall apart very suddenly with no warning. It took her a long time to get her head around everything that was happening. Her ex just said it was over with absolutely no explanation whatsoever. That is the hardest thing to deal with and it is not that common. Most of the time, we are able to see the end coming, even if we try to ignore the signs.
Being blindsided is the worst type of break up to deal with. Even if you are in a state of denial, you can see there are issues, and at least some part of you is gearing up for the break up. If you really don't have any signs, it just makes it that much harder when it does happen, as you haven't had any time to "prepare".
Even so, you can make the whole situation a little better by spending your time concentrating on the things that make you happy, whatever those things may be, as long as it is a positive activity. Spending time with close friends is another great way to help yourself move on more quickly and with as little pain as possible.
The best way to do that is to concentrate on your life, day by day. Do not fall into the trap of thinking, "I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without my ex." Instead, only worry about getting through today. Tomorrow you will worry about getting through that day.
By thinking only about the day you are living, you can help get the most out of it and you will not overwhelm yourself by thinking about the future. At this point, the future is just too painful to think about and doing so will make the relationship break up a little easier to get through.
More juicy content from YourTango: