24 Low-Effort Ways To Become The Person Everyone Loves To Be Around
Small, everyday ways to become more compelling and inviting to the people around you.
South_agency | Canva When you think of kindness, do you imagine someone nobly performing a lifetime of random acts of kindness, handing out hundred dollar bills or digging wells to bring clean water to underserved communities in a foreign land? Admirable as that is, it isn’t the only means to approach kindness. There are many ways people show kindness every day.
Kindness is simply being friendly, generous, and considerate, and there is evidence everywhere. Sometimes, we have to look for it.
Kindness is considering another person besides yourself and acting without expecting anything in return.
When you show a genuine interest in another person, you tell them they are seen, recognized, and heard — they aren’t alone in the world. That type of kindness, the kind that comes from the heart, is contagious and draws people to you.
24 ways to become the person everyone wants to be around
1. Truly connect with the people you encounter.
We are wired to require connection with others for our well-being. Freely giving that connection is an act of kindness. Notice it, and imagine how doing some of the acts below could transform a day. We do that when we:
2. Smile at someone to show understanding.
Smiling at someone who needs it to show you truly understand their situation is kind. And then, help if you can.
3. Listen without interrupting.
Be completely present and listen. When someone is talking, let her say whatever she has to say and allow her whatever time it takes to develop their thoughts, no matter how disjointed they may seem. Without thinking of your response, just listen and consider someone else’s point of view.
4. Don’t judge.
Many factors shape each of us. It is deeply kind to interact with someone who can enjoy another person for their contribution without judging.
5. Be honest.
Stay true to yourself and be honest — but deliver what you have to say with tact. Imagine how much better you would feel knowing someone told you the hard truth — kindly — than kept something from you out of cowardice.
6. Get happy.
Put your insecurities aside and feel happy for another person’s success. Open up to their deep joy and celebrate with them!
7. Keep your word.
If you say you will get together with a friend, get together with them. Answer the phone, write the text, and show up for the meeting if you say you’ll be there.
8. Inspire, but don’t preach.
If someone is feeling low, a lecture is far from helpful. A genuinely optimistic point of view can, however, be hopeful. Offer encouraging words but make sure they are sincere. And remember that your journey and wisdom are just that — yours. Everyone has her own.
9. Behave generously.
Generosity isn’t necessarily about giving material items as much as it is about our behavior. It concerns the sincerity and abundance with which we give of our nature, although there is also where those random acts of kindness shine.
In the science of happiness, generosity contributes to a happy marriage, social connections, and a balanced life. We show generosity when we:
10. Give genuine compliments.
The next time you admire someone, take the time to tell the person. Yes, it takes some extra time, but that moment of kindness can alter someone’s mood.
11. Allow someone else to go first if they are in a hurry.
When you see someone rushing to catch a connection, or if someone is in a line at a store and needs to get somewhere on a time frame, and you have a cushion of time … what a gift to let them go in front of you. The extra five minutes it costs may have saved their well-being for the day.
12. Give without conditions.
When you agree to a favor, donate, or give in some way, do it gladly — or not at all. A generous spirit accompanying a small item is much more pleasant for the recipient than a gift given grudgingly.
13. Be a connection.
There are probably people in your life who can enhance the lives of other people you know. Without being intrusive, make introductions that can make a difference.
14. Affirm someone’s ideas.
Instead of discouraging people when they bring up ideas, encourage their creativity. It’s up to them to follow through on their goals. It’s an act of kindness to show you believe they have the character to make their dreams real.
15. Support that dream.
Nominate a deserving person for an award in their field. Show the world what you see by sharing their brilliance.
16. Bolster someone who needs it.
Notice someone whose confidence is flagging? Target them! Designate compliments and comments to encourage them until they remember their greatness!
17. Show consideration.
Consideration means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing the world from her perspective. You don’t have to agree with her and accept she is entitled to her view of the world.
18. Know your boundaries.
Act with generous abandon when the situation warrants it, but know when to hold back when privacy is called for. Take the other person’s needs into consideration to know which course of action to take.
19. Be a positive voice in a sea of dissent.
If you’re reading a log of negative comments and disagree, be brave enough to write a positive word of encouragement. Your words of encouragement can overcome a sea of haters or, the very least, send a ray of hope.
20. Anticipate the needs of people around you.
We’re surrounded by many of the same people daily and know their habits almost better than they do. Anticipate a friend or coworker’s needs by bringing them their coffee before they have a chance to get it themselves.
21. Know your limits.
Be considerate of personal space in public. We all need to be able to enjoy our time and space together. So keep your voice at a level only your companions can hear, don’t take up more physical space than you need, look where you’re walking, and don’t eat strong-smelling food in crowded spaces.
22. Create an even field when in a group.
When going out with a group having different financial situations, choose something that works for everyone. The same applies to ethics and other preferences. Imagine how kind it is to think of the people you are with and choose activities that work for all comfortably.
23. Be thankful.
Remember to show gratitude, from recognizing and appreciating the moments in your life to thanking others. Say and write “thanks” often. Dare to be a throwback and send a handwritten note. And when expressing your appreciation, go one step beyond thankfulness to say why someone’s actions impacted you.
24. Perfect humility.
Apologize when you make a mistake, and always allow room for error — even if it isn’t immediately obvious. Remember, if you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, “right” and “wrong” don’t have the same impact kindness does.
Ironic as it may sound, put yourself first. The magic of kindness is felt in its sincerity. Connecting with others and giving of ourselves requires paying attention to our needs to set ourselves aside as we consider someone else.
It takes a bit of energy and time. When you show yourself a little consideration first, you have much more to share with others. Another surprising way people show kindness every day.
Jan Bowen is an author, keynote speaker, thought leader, and facilitator with over 25 years of successful corporate leadership who specializes in helping leaders find their balance.