New Mother's Husband Misses Their Baby's Birth — So Her Brother Convinces Him That She Passed Away During Labor
How you treat a woman during pregnancy will have a lasting impact.
Gorodenkoff / Shutterstock; Canva Creative Studio One of the most memorable moments a couple can share is the birth of a child.
While a new baby can often strengthen an already healthy relationship, in some circumstances, a bundle of joy can actually push a happy couple apart. That was certainly the case for one woman who revealed in a Reddit post, which was then shared to TikTok, that an argument just before the birth of her daughter resulted in threats of a paternity test and a missing dad during her delivery.
A week before their daughter’s birth, the pregnant woman's husband asked for a paternity test.
According to the new mom, there was no valid reason for his request, which resulted in an argument leaving her feeling disrespected. She let him know that questioning the baby's paternity was actually an accusation of infidelity, but he didn’t care, insisting he “just wanted to be sure.”
The stressful discussions continued for the next three days, eventually driving the woman to go stay with her brother in an effort to de-escalate the situation. It didn't work. She made a quick trip home while her husband was at work to pick up some clothes, and unexpectedly went into labor.
Sixteen unanswered calls to her husband later, and her brother took her to the hospital.
The woman described the birth as 'horrible and traumatic.'
The baby's birth was tumultuous, to say the least, happening in the back of her brother's van because they couldn't make it inside of the hopsital in time. Extensive blood loss had the woman's family concerned that she might not survive.
Matters got much worse when the new mom had to make the difficult choice to have a hysterectomy in order to avoid other detrimental outcomes. The decision was a no-brainer since she never really wanted kids in the first place.
She was well aware that her husband wanted a large family, but she considered her own survival, first and foremost.
Her husband popped up 10 hours after her surgery, calling to check on her. The woman’s brother picked up the phone, and angry over her husband’s absence, responded by saying, “This is her brother. I’m at the hospital. She didn’t make it.” He hung up and powered off her phone.
The new dad arrived at the hospital just as his wife woke up from her ordeal.
Livid over his brother-in-law's lie, he made a scene and was promptly removed from the hospital by security. Now, her husband wants her to disown her brother over the ill-advised "prank," but her brother believes it was well-deserved due to her husband’s lack of concern.
Tensions are high between the two men and the wife doesn't know what to do. To add to the conflict, her husband is still demanding a paternity test and she doesn’t really want him around anymore.
Many fathers end up missing the birth of their child.
While this woman's particular set of circumstances seems extreme, the reality is far from a fairytale.
According to a 2019 study, one out of five dads miss the birth of a child. Being stuck at work or in traffic, or even watching sports, were some of the reasons men did not show up for their partner's labor and delivery, and 12% of those men didn't even know their baby's mother was in labor.
But a father missing a child's birth doesn't necessarily spell destruction for a couple. Forty percent of women were willing to forgive their absent partner if they missed the birth due to unforeseen circumstances, and 30% had no problem at all with their partner opting to be a "stay-away dad," voluntarily skipping the birth if they chose to.
But birth trauma and prebirth stress can have a lasting impact on the relationship between parents.
How you show up for your partner when she is pregnant, however, can determine how far the relationship will go. A peaceful pregnancy can build connection and strength within the marriage, while a pregnancy filled with chaos and uncertainty, much like this woman describes, can destroy it.
And while it’s completely natural for a brother to protect his sister, especially if he believes she is being mistreated, lying about her death was not the way. Yes, he should apologize for such a serious prank, but the husband needs to apologize for his actions and attitude leading up to the birth of the child as well.
Clearly, there is an underlying trust issue in this relationship, and it has to be addressed or the couple will soon be co-parenting.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle, entertainment, and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.