Woman Who Lost Weight Says Her Husband Wants Her To Wear Her Wedding Ring So Everyone Knows She's Taken
Your weight doesn't define your worth.
Dmytro Zinkevych / Shutterstock A woman shared in the "r/breakingmom" subreddit that her husband insisted she start wearing her wedding ring, even though neither of them has done so for several years.
While it's certainly normal for couple to want their spouse to wear their wedding band, the reasoning the husband gave was because his wife had lost nearly 40 pounds.
The husband wanted his wife to wear her ring because, since losing weight, other people have noticed how good she looks.
The couple have been married for seven years, and for the last three-and-a-half years, neither has worn their wedding band or ring — the husband because it was a hazard at work, and the wife because she was raising two small kids.
"We wear them on occasions, but 95% of the time we don’t because we’ve gotten used to not wearing them," she wrote. "And it feels odd when we do."
But in recent months, her husband started commenting about her lack of a ring when they went out together. He even went so far as to suggest they get wedding bands or each other's initials tattooed. She refused, not wanting to tattoo her finger, which further upset her husband.
She finally decided to ask him outright, "Why are you suddenly fixated on me wearing a wedding ring?"
"Because you’re going out more often and I just want people to know you’re taken," her husband responded. She didn't accept his answer and questioned him further. "What’s the difference [between] me going out now and me going out twelve months ago without a ring?" she asked.
He wasn't able to give a straightforward response; instead, visibly fidgeting, he gestured to his wife. "Well, you know…"
"So let me get this right: now that I’ve lost weight, you want people to know I’m taken, but when I was heavier, it didn’t matter?” she questioned, offended.
Stumbling over his words he attempted to justify what his wife had accurately gathered. "You’re always beautiful to me," he said. "But now others are noticing too and you know…" It was at this point his wife had enough and walked away.
The comments of this post are filled with Redditors sympathizing with the wife, and offering insight into her husband's behavior.
Some comments suggested that her husband is insecure and attempting to mark his territory. Others pointed out how counterproductive his comments were, because if she was considering putting her ring back on before, she likely isn't anymore.
Photo: Fizkes / Shutterstock
You should be equally proud to be seen with and claim your partner regardless of their weight.
It's insulting to only care that strangers know that your partner is taken once they lose a few pounds. The fact that this poster's husband was okay with her not wearing a wedding ring for several years, and suddenly had a change of heart once she lost weight, shows that he saw less value in her when she weighed more.
A number on a scale doesn't make you any more or less worthy of love and affection — and any partner who makes you feel less than based on your weight does not have your best interest at heart.
Let's say it louder for the people in the back: The appearance of your body does not determine your worth. Nobody, especially not your husband, should make you feel like it does.
Audrey Jaber is a Boston-based writer and Assistant Editor for YourTango.