Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Being Upset Her Friend's Marriage Only Lasted 2 Weeks After She Spent $3,600 To Be In The Wedding
At the end of the day, the spirit of friendship should take precedence over the sense of financial loss.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock A woman admitted that she isn't sure how to feel after spending thousands of dollars on her friend's wedding, only for the marriage to end up in shambles.
Posting to the UK-based online forum, Mumsnet, she revealed that she is incredibly "irked" by her friend's attitude toward her short-lived marriage after all of the effort she and the other wedding guests put into it.
She spent thousands of dollars on her friend's wedding only for the marriage to end after two weeks.
In her post, she explained that she was extremely upset after spending thousands on her friend's dream wedding, only for it to end within the following two weeks.
"I know it sounds selfish but I can't help feeling so upset at the amount of effort I went to and money I spent on making it amazing for her. She is being so blasé about the whole situation and laughing about it being the shortest marriage, she knew it wasn't going to last, etc," she wrote.
She admitted that she's tried to talk to her friend about it to get a better understanding of what went wrong, and acknowledged that she and their other friends knew that her husband wasn't the right fit for her from the beginning.
Photo: IVASHstudio / Shutterstock
Her friend argued that she just didn't want to let any of the guests down or feel any embarrassment for canceling a wedding that she desperately wanted to happen.
However, she's upset that her friend is not recognizing just how much money was wasted on a wedding that she knew wasn't going to last. In the post, she pointed out that she spent money on three different bridal parties, which were all in different places, the hotel for the wedding which was around £450 ($549), and all of the other expenses, including the wedding gifts, outfits, shoes, hair, makeup, and drinks.
In total, she is estimated to have spent at least $3,600. "Just makes me so mad. I surely can't be the only one feeling like this!?" she continued. "She gave no indication that there was anything wrong in the relationship and I understand totally that you never know what is going on behind closed doors."
She pointed out that it was important for her friend to put her happiness above everything else, but it has still annoyed her that all of the money she spent on the wedding has gone to waste now. "Essentially the guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess and it was never about getting married."
People agreed that she had a right to be upset but that her friend was probably even more upset about her failed marriage.
"I’d imagine she’s trying to put on a brave face and laughing it off because she’s upset, embarrassed, all the other emotions anyone feels when their marriage ends," one Mumsnet user wrote. "Even looking at it from the purely financial perspective you are, do you really think she wanted to spend tens of thousands on her dream wedding and then break up later?"
Photo: Mumsnet
Considering, the average cost of a wedding in 2023 is estimated at just below $30,000, it's likely the bride and anyone that helped pay for her big day is feeling the financial pinch more than the bridal party.
Another user added, "I would be annoyed and frustrated too if I was you, despite feeling sorry for her at some level. If I had done this, I would be devastated inside and mortified outside though."
"It must be pretty humiliating to be her right now so she is brazening it out." A third user chimed in, "I don't blame you for being irritated, but you spent all that money and time because you care about her and wanted to be part of a positive experience... and it succeeded in that."
Weddings often come with intense societal expectations, and the pressure to conform to these expectations can often be overwhelming for some people. It's clear that this woman's friend might have felt compelled to fulfill the traditional narrative of a grand wedding, separate from her own personal feelings.
While it's understandable that she would be annoyed at all of the money she feels she wasted on the ceremony, behind her friend's façade of brushing it off and laughing about it, she could also be grappling with embarrassment, disappointment and even perhaps a sense of failure.
At the end of the day, the spirit of friendship should take precedence over the sense of financial loss, and this woman should offer her friend a bit of empathy. Hopefully, down the line, she'll receive the answer as to what happened to her short-lasting marriage, and then she can help her friend truly heal.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.