Woman Tricks Her 'Friend With Benefits' Into Having A Baby—He's Working 2 Jobs To Support Them & She's Wondering If It's Time To Tell The Truth
He thinks that the pregnancy was an accidental failure of birth control. However, now she is wondering if she should come clean.
TikTok & Arina Krasnikova / Pexels When a 34-year-old woman decided she was ready to be a mother, she tricked a man she was casually dating into getting her pregnant. Now nearly two years later, she wonders if she should come clean to him after he asked her to marry him.
She is unsure exactly what her future holds if she reveals one of her biggest secrets to him.
The woman submitted her twisted story to the creators of the podcast “Everybody Has A Secret,” where listeners could anonymously share their deepest secrets to be shared by host Annabelle Lee and her guest co-hosts. Her tale filled with deception lies and unexpected feelings has sparked a variety of reactions among listeners.
The woman tricked her 'friend with benefits' into having a baby with her.
According to the woman, as told by Lee, as she was approaching her 34th birthday, she decided that she wanted to have a baby, even if it meant that she would be a single mother. She was financially and emotionally well off and knew that she was prepared to take on motherhood.
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“Although I was technically single, I was in a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement that had been going on for around five months,” the woman admitted. She claims the reason that she and the man decided not to date seriously—despite having feelings for one another—because he would soon be moving out of state.
She decided on her own that she would go off of her birth control without telling him and hoped that she would fall pregnant naturally.
“If I did and it fell close to his moving away date there’s a world where I wouldn’t tell him about the pregnancy,” she says. “I was more looking for an unofficial sperm donor.”
Well, lo and behold, she was a lot more fertile than she realized and ended up getting pregnant just one month after going off her birth control. She had no choice but to tell her friend with benefits about the pregnancy since he wouldn’t be moving for another five months.
She acted as if the pregnancy was accidental and told him that she understood his plans to move away, letting him know that he did not have to take responsibility for the baby she intended to keep.
“At first, he was okay with that plan,” the woman shared. “However, within a couple of days, he said he couldn’t move away now and that he wanted to be there for me and the baby.”
He then asked her to officially be his girlfriend, which took her by surprise. “We moved in together after a few weeks and over the course of the pregnancy we grew closer and closer together and our relationship grew into something wonderful,” the woman says.
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The man got a second job to better provide for his future child.
The woman says that she could not have asked for a better partner to have by her side during the pregnancy. Unfortunately, most of the bliss faded away after the birth of their daughter.
“Our baby ended up with very bad complications at birth and ended up with severe health consequences that we will have to deal with for all of her life,” she revealed. At only a year old, the baby has had three surgeries, countless doctor’s appointments, and constant therapy and medications.
Despite the emotional stress of their medically complex child, the woman says that the experience brought her and her boyfriend even closer together. Eventually, he asked her to marry him. “He said he loved us more than anything and he wanted to be with us forever,” she shared.
The woman gladly accepted his proposal and is excited to start their new life together. However, she can’t help but feel some guilt over her decision to get pregnant on purpose behind his back. She admits that she does not want to start their marriage with the secret looming over her.
“I don’t think he would leave because of this, but I don’t really know if he would ever forgive me,” she says.
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Most people were appalled by the woman’s sneaky actions and believed it was unfair to her partner.
“She trapped him, only ever thought about herself, and continues to do so. She should now live with the guilt,” one person commented.
“That man deserves to be with someone who isn't deceptive,” another person wrote.
Others pointed out that she stripped the man of his consent to have a child.
What she did could be considered reproductive coercion. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, reproductive coercion is "related to behavior that interferes with contraception use and pregnancy. The most common forms of reproductive coercion include sabotage of contraceptive methods, pregnancy coercion, and pregnancy pressure."
The ACOG states that reproductive coercion is "intended to maintain power and control in a relationship related to reproductive health by someone who is, was, or wishes to be involved in an intimate or dating relationship with an adult or adolescent."
“It takes away consent for him so definitely feels illegal,” one person noted in the comments of the video. “I know someone who did this to their partner, I genuinely think it is tantamount to sexual assault,” another person commented.
Some believed that the woman should keep her secret to herself to protect her partner’s feelings. “She has to take this to the grave. Telling is not the right thing to do, it would be selfish because it would only relieve her guilt and cause him pain,” one person shared.
However, others felt that the man had a right to know even if it hurt him. “He needs to know that he is living in delusion and misconception,” another person wrote.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.