'You Know It's Real If He Proposes Before His Divorce' — Woman Shares Her Sister's Proposal To A Married Man
"Somebody gotta tell his wife the exciting news!"
Kameleon007, Urilux / Getty Images via Canva, Irina Montero / Shutterstock What would you do if your sister got engaged to an already-married man? Evelyn Lafferty's sister did just that, so she took to TikTok to share the news, posting a video of the engagement with the description: 'You know it's real if he proposes before his divorce.'
"So excited my sister [is] getting married to an already married man," Lafferty explained.
"Somebody gotta tell his wife the exciting news!" she captioned the video.
Lafferty noted in the comments that while he is separated from his previous wife, the pair had not yet filed for divorce. Somehow, her sister's wedding is in just three weeks.
Despite their wedding being less than a month away, legally speaking, the new pair cannot get married until his previous divorce is finalized. On average, it takes about a year for a divorce to be official after filing papers, and their engagement could further impact or delay divorce proceedings. The wedding — at least a legally binding one — will be hard-pressed to take place in under a month.
Lafferty clearly does not support her sister's upcoming wedding and even tried to warn her, before she resorted to posting a TikTok. "Tried telling her but she won't listen I'm just gonna let her find out," she wrote in the comments.
Many commenters supported Lafferty for exposing the soon-to-be-married couple. "I love the sister calling them out! Yes queen!" one user wrote. "She won't listen to me so this might help her learn a lesson," replied Lafferty with a laughing face emoji.
Dating while separated is a controversial topic.
Living apart while being legally married is nothing if not complicated. It can feel like living in a state of limbo because the original couple is still intrinsically connected, whether they like it or not.
Since they are not yet divorced, his previous spouse is likely still considered his next-of-kin and able to make medical decisions on his behalf. Moreover, often in the case of a separation, the two spouses' finances are still linked.
Some commenters shared this concern. "Wait, if he bought that ring before the divorce, it's an asset," one user wrote. "Wife might get half." Lafferty responded to this comment "Sis gonna be mad when she take[s] the furniture and appliances. And the spousal support," she wrote.
The man's apparent rush to get remarried concerned many commenters. Some questioned his motives, wondering if maybe he was using her for a place to stay. Lafferty replied to these comments, noting that her sister's new fiancé is in the military. "He don’t wanna go back to the barracks," she wrote.
The timeline for recovery after a breakup is highly subjective, and there is no one correct way to move on.
Still, jumping from serious relationship to serious relationship isn't usually a wise decision. Ideally one would take the time to heal, grow, and learn from their first marriage before committing to a second, especially since second marriages are more likely to end in divorce. In fact, in the United States, 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
Paulette Kouffman Sherman, Psy.D., psychologist and author of 'Dating From the Inside Out,' told Glamour she recommends waiting at least a month or two before entering a new relationship — longer if the relationship lasted over a year.
"Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she said. "This way, you will feel whole and in high self-esteem before you go back into the next relationship and won't just be trying to fill that hole."
Whether the couple go through with the wedding or not, Lafferty assured commenters that she planned to update them on this saga.
Audrey Jaber is a Boston-based writer and Assistant Editor for YourTango.