Woman Says She Has Gotten The 'Ick' Because Her Boyfriend Makes Four Times Less Money Than She Does
She finds him unattractive because of it.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock A woman is starting to rethink her relationship after revealing that her boyfriend doesn't make as much money as she does.
Posting her grievances to the relationship section of the London-based internet forum, Mumsnet, she explained that she and her boyfriend have been dating for eight months and feels that he isn't earning enough and working hard to support himself.
She has gotten the 'ick' from her boyfriend because he makes four times less money than she does.
In her Mumsnet post, the woman wrote that she met her boyfriend through work and they immediately clicked as friends.
Before meeting him, she had recently gotten divorced from her ex-husband, who she described as being "financially abusive" and never contributed moneywise when it came to their three-year-old daughter.
While she wasn't initially attracted to her current boyfriend, she admitted that the more they got to know each other, the more she realized she had feelings for him.
"My main concern before getting together, which we discussed at length before anything happened, was money and finances. I am 10 years into my career [as a] senior management and [I'm a] high earner," she wrote.
Her boyfriend's position, on the other hand, doesn't pay as much as hers does, though she noted that he has the potential "to be where I am in 3-5 years."
She told him that if their relationship was going to work, he needed to improve his current salary, which is £25,000 ($30,000), as she doesn't like that she makes four times the amount that he does.
"We both work in a commission-based environment and he has the opportunity to earn good money fairly quickly, but you do need to put in hours to be successful."
In her opinion, she doesn't think that he is 'doing what is necessary' to be successful in his field.
She claimed that he has "minimal income," and every time they do something together, she is the one paying, including booking vacations and paying the check at restaurants.
"I’ve even paid for lunches out with his parents however noticing that his work ethic is dying off, I’m beginning to get the ick," she admitted.
Despite her dislike for how much money he makes, she asserts that he is extremely kind, great with her daughter, and an overall lovely person.
"All my friends and family love him and I genuinely cannot rate him highly enough. However, I’ve worked really hard to come back from financial ruin after my ex and I need things to be 50:50 or at least on track to be."
While they have had conversations about it in the past, where he promised her that he would do more to earn a higher living, she still can't help feeling "less attracted to him."
Most of the forum users agreed that she needed to end her relationship.
"I think if a man said this about a woman people would say the man was mean — but I get it. If your goals aren't aligned then maybe he is not for you," one user wrote.
Another user added, "Like you, I work incredibly hard and I expect people to have self-motivation."
"Just be kind but say this is not working. He might beg you to reconsider, but please hold firm."
A third user chimed in, "I think it's more than just 'the ick'. He sounds like a bit of a user. Just because he's 'nice' doesn't mean he's good enough for you."
However, other users pointed out that such a thing might not mean the relationship needs to end.
"I’m not sure I’d rule someone out solely on income or earning potential," a fourth user remarked.
"I’d have taken a kind guy who earned less and was good to my kid any day. Stop paying for things, he’s never going to step up like that."
A fifth user noted, "No reason you can’t have separate money. I’d just be careful as you could leave him and find someone else [who makes the] same money as you and find it’s not as perfect as you want."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.