Woman Regrets Not Working To Fix Her Marriage Now That Her Ex Is 'Happily Remarried' — 'I Wish I Was A Better Wife So I Wouldn't Be In This Position'
While the woman is obviously distraught, people are arguing that you reap what you sow.
Photoroyalty, PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock A woman has expressed her deep regrets regarding her failed marriage and is now wondering what she could have done differently.
Initially, she divorced her husband after believing that she was a “great catch” who could do better than him. Now, a decade later, she is feeling miserable and lonely while her ex-husband is living his best life.
The woman revealed that she regrets not working harder to save her marriage now that her ex-husband is happily remarried.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/TrueOffMyChest, the 41-year-old woman revealed that she left her husband 10 years ago shortly after they had their first child together. According to the woman, she and her husband were not encountering any “major issues” in their marriage, although their relationship had changed after becoming parents.
“I was a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) and I expected him to do more of the housework and childcare when he worked full-time,” the woman admitted. “He did help me when I asked but I started to ask more of him and I burnt him out.”
The woman claimed that she had her husband “wrapped around her finger” and it was easy for her to get him to do exactly as she said. However, he soon grew “tired” of her demands, and she began threatening divorce.
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“He said he knew the baby was just stressing us out and he will like to make it work,” the woman wrote. “But when I was 30, I thought I was a great catch because I was still very beautiful for my age and I lost my mom bod so I thought I could do better than him so I left him.”
The woman revealed that she gained their house and joint custody of their son after the divorce.
Ten years later, the woman’s ex-husband is happily remarried to a “beautiful” young woman and they have a daughter together and a new house. The woman has been unmarried ever since.
She cannot help but feel anger and regret over how her life played out.
“My son loves going to his dad's to spend time with his other family and I’m not gonna lie it makes me jealous,” the woman wrote. “She [her ex-husband’s new wife] has it all. She took my husband, she took my kid, she took my life that was once all mine and all I have is the house we created our family in... and now I live in an empty house.”
The woman added that since the divorce, she has gained 20 pounds, has wrinkles, and is “alone” and “miserable.”
While she has been in a few short-term relationships, she claims that she is just not happy anymore. She wishes that she could go back in time and stop being so “childish” and attempt to work out her marriage.
“Now I have such a miserable life. I work a useless job now and I have to share custody of my son where he has to go spend time at my ex-husband’s house with his new and improved wife,” the woman wrote. “I feel like a dumpster standing right next to her.”
The woman says that her therapist recommended that she give herself a “make-over” to make her feel better about herself and alleviate her regret and sadness, and since she is constantly comparing herself to her ex-husband’s new wife. Although, the woman claims no matter what she does, she looks like a “middle-aged woman.”
“This is probably the most honest I’ve ever been in a while. I just feel like crap, I wish I was a better wife over 10 years ago so I wouldn’t be in this position,” she confessed. She added that being single is “not an ideal life” and one that she would not wish on her worst enemy.
However, not many people were sympathetic toward the woman.
Many people believed it was her own fault since she was the one who initiated the divorce and made no effort to work out her marriage.
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“You got what you deserved and he got what he deserved, it sounds like it all worked out well in the end,” one Redditor commented.
“You acted like a brat and divorced him when you didn't get your way. These are consequences of those actions,” another user wrote. “You're going to have to deal with the circumstances, stop blaming everyone else, and move on.”
Others noted that the woman’s ex-husband’s new wife did not “take” anything from her.
“She didn’t take it, you gave it away,” one user pointed out. “The grass is always greener on the other side because it’s usually fertilized with b------t.”
Although this woman’s story of divorce ended in bitterness and guilt, it is important to note that not all divorcées end up this way.
“Meghan Markle was divorced and 36 when she married Prince Harry. King Charles married 57-year-old Camilla after Princess Diana died. Jeff Bezos is engaged to a woman in her 50s with 3 kids,” one user commented. “The real world doesn’t work anything like depicted in [original poster’s] post.”
According to research derived from family law attorneys, 80% of people who get divorced eventually end up re-marrying. Six percent of those people even marry their previous spouse.
No marriage is perfect, and there will be days when spouses will argue to no end. However, for some, divorce may not always be the solution.
Some couples may seek help from professional counseling, work through the hardships and give each other their full efforts to make it work.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.