After A Woman Kept Her Late Sister's Dresses For 17 Years, Her Brother-In-Law Asked If His Daughter Could Have One But She Wants To Refuse
She wants to keep the cherished items safe but wonders if she's being harsh.
Creative Lab / Cast Of Thousands / Shutterstock A woman is feeling conflicted after she refused to give up some of her late sister's belongings to her brother-in-law's daughter.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) subreddit — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she wrote that after her sister died, she had left behind some of her personal belongings to give to her children.
She wonders if she's selfish for not letting her brother-in-law's daughter wear her late sister's beloved dresses that she left behind.
In her Reddit post, she explained that her sister had passed away 17 years ago after battling a terminal cancer diagnosis eight months into her pregnancy. After her death, she left behind her 4-month-old daughter, now 17, and a 5-year-old son, now 22.
"After my niece was born she asked me if I would keep her dresses and her favorite jewelry for her kids," she explained. Her sister had accumulated many nice dresses from her time working for a fashion magazine which was her prize possession prior to her death.
Her sister wanted her daughter to be able to have a piece of her, even after she was gone, even if she didn't want to wear the dresses. She also knew that her husband would remarry after she passed away, and didn't want any "lines blurred" if his future wife and their future children wanted to have her possessions.
She even left behind a necklace for her son, who ended up asking for it and continues to wear it to this day. Of course, the woman agreed to her sister's wishes.
Her sister's husband ended up remarrying and having two more daughters with his new wife.
About a year after her sister died, her prediction came true and her husband ended up getting another woman pregnant, and then a few months later, married her.
"Things were awkward for a few years. He was still part of our lives but we had not been close when my sister was alive and his wife was holding some hard feelings toward him and us," she explained, adding that his eldest daughter with his new wife is 14, while their youngest daughter is 9.
The 14-year-old wanted to wear her late sister's dress to a school dance.
Her brother-in-law's daughter had seen a photo of the woman's late sister wearing one of the dresses and asked the writer of the post if she could borrow it to wear to a school dance she had coming up.
"He told me she wanted a dress and [asked] me to send it over with my niece for his daughter. I refused to send it and he responded by asking my nephew."
While the woman's nephew was furious, her niece didn't have an issue with it, but still found the request from her half-sister to be a weird one.
Her brother-in-law argued that it wasn't fair for her to deny his daughter the dress since she's part of their family and it shouldn't be a big deal. However, the woman pointed out that she isn't comfortable with the idea since it isn't what her sister wanted for her dresses.
When he tried to suggest that his daughter could borrow one of the other dresses from his late wife's collection, she told him that his daughter wasn't allowed any of them.
"He said I should not be depriving his daughter and she's being treated unfairly. I told him those dresses were nothing to do with her. They are for my sister's children," she argued.
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Most Reddit users agreed that her brother-in-law's daughter wasn't entitled to the dresses.
"Your sister was right that he would get remarried and completely fail to safeguard the items she wanted to pass on to her own daughter. He has proven her right!" one Reddit user pointed out.
"Stick to your guns and safeguard those items for your sister's daughter."
Another user added, "Your sister gave you very specific instructions on what to do in this situation. This was her wish and her husband should respect it."
"His kids with his new wife are not your nieces and have no connection at all to your sister. He just sounds greedy, to be honest," a third user chimed in.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics.