Woman Questions Why Her 'Very Rich' Parents Don't Offer To Help Her Out — She Feels Bad But Wants The Support
The cost of raising a family has become beyond expensive. But is it the older generations' responsibility to help us out?
RODNAE Productions / Pexels A woman wondered if she was being unreasonable for wanting financial support from her parents, and took to the internet to find out the answer. She put her situation on mumsnet, an British forum “by parents for parents.”
Hers is a conundrum many of us relate to although we wish we didn't. Of course, we want our parents to enjoy their hard-earned cash, but when you're struggling it's hard not to look to others for a bailout. Recognizing that her issue may be divisive, the woman qualified herself by saying, “I may be a terrible person and am willing to be told so if that is the case.”
The woman wondered if she was wrong to want her 'very rich parents' to offer financial help.
She explained that her parents had a “fairly average income” growing up and that she had a “fairly normal upbringing– 3-bed semi, camping holidays, state schools.”
“Over time, my parents have become very rich,” the woman stated. “Partly luck, of course, but also a lot of hard work.”
It's clear that money has an effect on family relationships, be it a positive or negative impact, as this woman has certainly felt. She continued on to say that her parents are now in a much more stable financial position, “where they can go on multiple holidays a year.”
“They are fairly open about their finances and so I know that as well as claiming a final salary pension, my dad is also still bringing in around 100k a year in investments and consultancy work,” the woman said.
She asked the parenting thread if she was being ‘horribly unreasonable, materialistic and grasping’ for expecting her parents to help her financially.
She qualified her own financial situation, one she described as “fairly hand to mouth.”
It’s no wonder this mom feels a certain amount of financial strain. The cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 will set you back by about $310,000 in the US, according to a 2022 analysis from the Brookings Institution which analyzed the Department of Agriculture's 2015 estimate for the cost of raising a child and ran the numbers to account for inflation since then.
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In this woman's eyes, she and her partner are “fairly typical of our generation in that we both work full time in order to pay our mortgage.”
“Neither of us particularly [enjoys] our jobs but we can’t career change or reduce hours as we need the money,” she said. “We haven’t been on holiday overseas since 2015.”
“We are doing fine and not on the breadline, but things are tight,” she explained, then approached the root of her concerns, wondering if she was unreasonable for wanting her parents to help them out. “I look at some of my peers who have had significant parental help towards buying a house or free childcare, and I just find it a bit odd that they haven’t thought to do the same.”
The woman stated that “they have no obligation whatsoever to provide anything now that I’ve left home but I just find it kind of hurtful.”
“I honestly can’t imagine being like this with my own children and plan to help them out as much as I can,” she finished her post.
While some people on the thread believed that her parents didn’t owe her any help, most of those who commented said that they do or would help their children out financially, if and when they are able to do so.
Others had empathy for the woman posting, responding, “you're not entitled to help, but I understand your thoughts and feelings completely.”
One person stated that “money is always better shared around,” and explained that they help their adult children out, as they enjoy seeing their children getting things “now when we’re alive and can take pleasure in their happiness.”
“Maybe they don't realize how hard up you are, or feel they survived at your stage, or have forgotten about it,” said another person. “Some older generations don't really understand how tight things are for many people now.”
“There's no harm in being honest with them and [asking] for financial support,” the same person commented.
The woman's current reality is such that her life supporting her own family is expensive, and maybe asking her parents for support is the action she needs to take.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.