Woman In Leadership Position At Work Called 'Too Dramatic' By Male Boss After 'Starting To Be More Vocal And Confident'
Was she really being dramatic, or is she just a woman in a male-dominated field?
Romane Gautun and Dylan Gillis / Unsplash A 46-year-old woman working in IT wrote to the r/antiwork subreddit, wondering if the way she was being treated at her job was misogynistic or if she was misinterpreting her co-workers' reactions.
The woman, who holds a leadership position at work, was called ‘too dramatic’ by her male boss after ‘starting to be more vocal and confident.’
The woman explained that her workplace is male-dominated; according to her account, some of her male colleagues “have huge egos.” She described her last year on the job as “very rough,” stating, “I have gone out of my way to build bridges and be a partner. My team is getting beat up and demoralized and I am afraid they will quit.”
She went on to say that she’s shifted the way she acts at work, stating, “I am starting to be more vocal, confident, and firm about boundaries and what we will accept and what we need to be successful.”
She felt like her boss “always supported me in every way,” until a recent interaction with him, in which she was navigating “yet another potential problem” in the workplace.
Her boss accused her of ‘being too dramatic,’ and he’d previously told her she was ‘blowing a concern out of proportion.’
The woman responded to her boss calling her dramatic, and “calmly told him I was stating facts.” She wondered if she was being called out as dramatic solely because she was a woman in a position of power.
Photo: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels
“Another male colleague who has a huge ego and IS dramatic, who I had issues with all year, called me out when I actually once sternly called him out and slightly raised the volume of my voice to make a point,” she stated.
“Am I crazy?” She asked. “I feel like I am being treated this way because I am a woman.”
A majority of the comments pointed out the inherent gender inequities of being a woman in a male-dominated field. As one person stated, calling her dramatic was “the boss’s way to put you in ‘your place…’ A strong, independent woman in a leadership role in charge of males — trouble.”
Someone else posed the question, “Would he ever tell one of the males that they are too dramatic? Doubtful.”
The woman came to the comments to express her disappointment as she continued to discover how her workplace actually functioned. She said, “I had such high hopes. So much bad behavior [is] enabled across leadership.”
She also added context to the actions he took that led to her being called dramatic, saying, “I [was] very much pointing out mistakes that are happening. Now there is backlash.”
One person in the comments spoke directly to her, claiming, “You are being tone policed. Sorry, sister, time to move on.”
It’s telling that the woman was criticized by her boss only after firmly delineating her expectations for her colleagues.
While only the people working in that particular office know the true nuances of their work culture, it’s entirely too common for women to be labeled “dramatic” for the ways they respond to conflict. The professional world is set up in a way that prioritizes and rewards men for being outspoken and punishes women for echoing that behavior.
At the very least, this woman has confirmation from others’ lived experiences that she’s not, in fact, crazy — she’s just holding a position of power in an environment designed to count her out.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers gender issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.