Woman Is Forced To Choose Between Her Dream Job & Her Friendship After Her Bestie Disapproves Of Her New Role
The opportunity is amazing, although it may cost her a close friend.
Olha Nosora / SmartPhotoLab / Dima Aslanian / Shutterstock A woman has landed herself in quite a predicament after she was put between accepting a dream job opportunity or remaining close to one of her good friends.
Even though the job would improve her financial situation significantly, the role goes against her friend’s personal beliefs. Her friend warned her that if she took the job, they would no longer be friends.
Now, she is asking others how she should handle the situation.
The woman was offered a job working closely with a politician whose beliefs do not align with her friend’s.
The woman took to the U.K.-based parenting forum, Mumsnet, to share her story. She began by revealing that she had been offered a “really fascinating job” that would involve her traveling a lot and “meeting a lot of interesting people.”
“It involves working for a former politician. Not directly but closely,” the woman says of the job. “I don’t support most of their views but the role is independent of their politics.”
While the woman does not identify who the exact politician in question is, she claims that one of her close friends is not exactly in favor of her taking the job.
“I told one friend and she’s said she couldn’t be friends with me if I took it, which has really dampened things,” the woman wrote.
The job is an opportunity the woman is unsure she can afford to miss since it also comes with a 20% wage increase.
“I want to take the role but I don’t want to lose one of my oldest friends,” she admitted.
She asks other Mumsnet users what she should do moving forward.
Most people encouraged the woman to take the job and criticized her friend for giving her that kind of ultimatum.
“Take the job, friends don't force their morals on other people,” one user commented.
“If their friendship comes with that kind of 'threat', chances are they weren't that good a friend after all,” another user pointed out.
However, some people believed that it all depended on who the politician was, and if their views were dangerously problematic.
“Depends who, there are some that I couldn't work for because it would be wrong to take a wage from such a person even indirectly,” one user wrote.
“I'm not sure there's any such thing as a former politician. I'd struggle to work for anyone whose moral views are completely opposite to mine,” another user admitted.
Although the woman stated that she does not entirely agree with the specific politician she’d be working for’s beliefs, it may have been difficult for her friend to see through that.
The woman's story raises the question you can remain friends with someone who has differing morals and politics than you.
According to experts, it is definitely possible, and it may even be more beneficial than harmful. Being friends with someone who does not share the same opinions as us may open our minds to different perspectives, instead of insisting that 'I, and only I, am morally right and everyone who disagrees with me is Satan.'
“Difference and disagreement are healthy and necessary for a thriving democracy,” Richard Weissbourd, senior lecturer on education and faculty director of the Human Development and Psychology master’s program at Harvard Graduate School of Education, told Pysch Central. “We need to disagree on issues so that we can learn and gain from different perspectives.”
After all, a good friendship involves a sense of companionship, encouragement and trust. If someone can be there holding your hand through a rough breakup or be right on the sidelines cheering you on as you move forward in your career, you likely will not grill them if they have a few different personal beliefs than you do.
In a moving personal essay about maintaining friendships with those who may vote for different political candidates than you, Lucy Defrancesco emphasized how being open-minded toward her friends with opposite opinions has changed her life significantly.
“Though it may sound like I wear a permanent pair of rose-colored glasses or operate under a general sense of naivety, I have actually opened myself up to a large number of civil discussions,” she writes. “Additionally, I have been able to educate others about the political and human rights topics I am passionate about.”
She also reveals that her friends have been equally open-minded to learning more about her perspective and that they still very much enjoy going out to the movies, getting dinner, and going on late-night ice cream runs together despite their personal differences.
Even if our besties may disagree with us when it comes to certain topics, respect for their opinions (as long as they are not actively harming someone else) goes a long way in a meaningful friendship.
Friendships are about support, understanding and mutual respect for the other person, whether we agree with their job choices or not.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.